


Unknown Number

by kenzcraw



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Big Sister Alex Danvers, Danvers Sisters, No? Okay. I'll fix that, can the Danvers sisters please talk about "you're part of the family or you're not"?, detective dimples, some sanvers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-11 23:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13534353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenzcraw/pseuds/kenzcraw
Summary: After the events of "Homecoming," and a couple weeks of pushing Kara away, Alex listens to a voicemail that shakes her to her core. Her words cut much deeper than she knew.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!  
> So 2x14 broke my heart way back when it first aired. And pissed me off. So before "Exodus" aired, I decided to write what I thought could have been the fallout from it if the writers actually let ALex and Kara deal with things that were said between them. I mean, "you're part of the family or you're not?" I'd say that warrants at least a small conversation.  
> Anyhoo, so in my mind this story begins a couple weeks after the events of "Homecoming." The sisters have sorta been avoiding each other and while Alex misses Kara, she kinda realizes it too late.

A voicemail from an unknown number. Part of me considers deleting it. If it's an unknown number it must not be that important. But there's some tiny, whispering part that compels me to tap my way into the voicemail box and que it up.  
"Alex? It's me."

  
_Kara's voice._ My knees almost buckle with the unexpected wave of longing. When's the last time I heard her voice? I can't remember.

  
"It's Kara," she adds, like she's afraid I won't recognize her. Her voice is so tight, controlled. "Um, I just wanted to call and… um… I have something I have to say and I don't think… Well, anyway."

  
I sink onto the chair, clutching the phone to my ear and squeezing my eyes shut. "I never told you how sorry I am." Her voice is starting to tremble and break and God it hurts. "I'm really really sorry, Alex. I didn't… I'm… I can't say I wish Clark had chosen another family for me because that's not true. It's selfish of me and I'm so sorry. For your sake, for your family's sake, I do wish he had chosen someone else. I didn't want this for you, or for Eliza… Or Jeremiah. You didn't deserve what happened to you…"

  
She's crying now. She heaves a shuddering breath, trying to control herself and I find I'm struggling right along with her. My throat is so tight it hurts and my eyes are burning with unshed tears. But she keeps going. "Selfishly, I couldn't have asked for a better family though, Alex. Your family was so so good to me, and I can't thank you enough for everything you and your mom have done. I'm so grateful for the time we had and I wish I could… If there was a way I could…"

  
_The time we had? What is she saying? What is that supposed to mean?_ Mixing with the ache lancing through my chest is an apprehension that hurts just as bad.  
"If I could fix it, I would. I swear I would. I'm so sorry that I can't." Another shuddering, wheezing breath. "I just… Needed you to hear that. Um, tell your mom thank you for me, okay? And be careful. Please please be careful. And… I'll always love you, Alex."

  
There's a split second pause, and the message clicks off. And my fingers are already flying over the screen, smacking the buttons to call back that unknown number. My hand is shaking so bad I think I might drop it as I hold it up to my ear. "Come on, Kara," I mutter. "Pick up, pick up-"

  
_Beeeep_! "The line you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service," says the automated message.

  
I lunge out of the chair and stumble to the door. I bump through a few agents and hear a couple disgruntled mumbles but I don't care. I don't care. Kara's name is on a loop in my head and my heart is pounding with the panic I'm trying to hold down enough to think.

  
"J'onn!" I call as I'm stumbling down the stairs. "Have you heard from Kara?"

  
He turns from the screens on the wall as I skid to a stop by the control table. "No," he says, making it sound like a question. "Well, not really. She said she wasn't coming in today, but besides that-"

  
"Winn?" I bark, whipping around to face him. "Have you heard from her?"

  
He doesn't turn from his computer. "Yeah."

  
"What did she say?" I reach out and yank his chair around so I can see him. His face is blank, cold. "What did she tell you?"

  
"Why do you care?" he spits. He rises from his chair and suddenly we're toe to toe. I've never seen his eyes blaze like that. "You've done nothing but make sure she's miserable every time she sees you-"

  
I hold the phone in his face. "She called me and left a message that sounds way too much like a goodbye," I hiss. "If you know something you'd better tell me-"

  
"You haven't exactly acted like her sister lately so why-"

  
"Enough! Both of you!" J'onn thunders. Winn and I shoot a glance over at him. He's drawn himself up, glaring at the two of us. "Agent Schott, what do you know?"

  
Winn plops back in his chair. "She asked me not to say."

  
I think I might be sick, the terror is twisting my stomach. "Winn if she's-"

  
He waves a hand. "She's not going to hurt herself, trust me. She's fine."

  
I hold the phone up again. "Then why would she call me and- " My throat closes up so suddenly as I hear her trembling apologies and her heartbreak in my memory. I swallow and plow on. "Why would she say goodbye to me?"

  
J'onn's eyes crumble and Winn seems to deflate. They both look at me with sad eyes and as I look between them my chest constricts with the same weight I felt last year when I told her I'd killed Astra. That unbearable weight of grief, of loss. Of missing her so much it steals my breath. The fear of a future without her.

  
"Winn?" My voice is a whimper. "Please."

  
Winn shrugs. "All she told me was that she can't stay in National City anymore. And she can't be Supergirl anymore."

  
There's a beat of silence while I try to catch up. "She can't… What? What does that even mean?"

  
Winn fixes me with a glare. "What made her come out as Supergirl, Alex? What was the catalyst?"

  
I'm about to shout at him that it was just because she's good, she's a hero at heart and it was only a matter of time until she did it, but the words lodge in my throat. For a moment, I'm back on that plane, watching through the window as my little sister latches onto the wing, shooting me a desperate glance through the glass. I feel the plane tilting on its side, feel my heart thundering with fear as it slams into the bay, knowing Kara is underneath it. I feel the swell of pride mix with the sheer terror in my chest as she stands on that same wing, soaking wet and beaming.

  
"The plane…"

  
Winn waves a hand at me in a _there-you-go_ way. "The plane. The plane that she saved, why? Because her big sister was on it. Take away said big sister and what do you have?"

  
_No. No way._ "But I'm right here, that doesn't-"

  
"But you're not, Alex!" Winn exclaims. "You're not with her anymore! Not since Jeremiah!"

  
"Even if that were true, she's still Supergirl." For some reason, I need him to understand this. "She never needed me for her to be Supergirl!"

 

But even as I say it, I remember another goodbye I had to endure from her. One that had ripped my heart to pieces with how final it could have been.

 

_Everything good I did… It came from you being my sister._

 

So if she thought I'd abandoned her…

  
"She needed you a lot more than you realize, Alex," Winn says. His voice has no heat in it, but I feel every word like a kick in the gut. "She needed you every step of the way. And now…" He shrugs. "I left the place where I lost my family, I don't blame her for leaving the place where she lost hers."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... Yeah, it's been a while.  
> Thanks to those who choose to stick around. Much love to you.

I do the first thing I can think of.  
I call my mom.  
"Alex? What's wrong?" she answers right off. Just hearing the concern in her voice makes me squeeze my eyes shut against the flood.  
"Mom, have you heard from Kara?" My tone is too harsh but it's all I can manage and still keep a handle on the maelstrom swirling in my chest.  
She pauses for a second. "Not since your dad… Why? Is she okay?"  
I can't answer at first. I pull the phone from my ear, cover the receiver so she can't hear shuddering breath I heave out. Trying to calm my throbbing heart.  
"Is your sister okay?" Mom demands.  
I bring the phone back up to my ear with a trembling hand. "I don't know," I say. "I don't know, Mom."  
"Talk to me, sweetie. What's going on?"  
I rub my hand over my face, through my hair. "I screwed up. I screwed up so bad."  
"Alex I don't understand. Is she in trouble? Are you-"  
"She left and I don't know where she is," I blurt. My voice trembles the slightest bit and I want to slap myself for it. I shouldn't even be telling her this at all now that I think about it. She just lost her husband- - again - and now I'm telling her that her youngest daughter is missing? But now that it's out there I can't stop. It just comes pouring out. "I said things back when everything was happening with Dad and I didn't think. I wasn't thinking and I was mad and we fought and I said something I never should have. And then, after, I was still mad and I pushed her away and I… I don't know where she is."  
My throat is closing up again and I have to stop. I run my hand over my hair again, trying to take a quiet breath to ease the tightness in my chest.  
"She… left? She's not in National City?"  
I shake my head. "I don't think so. She left me a voicemail…"  
"What did she say?" Her voice is getting sharp. Carefully controlled.  
"Um… It was, um…" God, I don't want to have this conversation. "It was more or less a goodbye." I debate for a brief second on going into detail about what Kara had said, but I quickly decide against it. Mom doesn't need to hear all that right now. Besides, I doubt I'd be able to even get the words out. "Winn talked with her, I guess, and she just… She's just gone."  
"Have you talked to her?"  
I can't help rolling my eyes. "That's why I asked if you'd heard from her. I don't have a number for her. It's been disconnected."  
Mom is silent on the other end for a moment. Then, "What did you say to her to make her do this, Alex?"  
I let my chin drop to my chest and I close my eyes. "I really don't want-"  
"Alex."  
I do my best to steady the throbbing ache. God, I've never wanted to take words back more than I do right now. "I told her- well, with Dad… She didn't trust him and I- I told her either she was part of the family or she wasn't, and if she wouldn't side with Dad then…"  
I can't finish and Mom gasps quietly on the other end. "Tell me you didn't," she murmurs. "You can't be serious-"  
"I know I screwed up, Mom, okay?" I say. "I know that and believe me I wish I could take it back-"  
"You shouldn't have said it in the first place!"  
"You don't think I know that?" I want to yell but I can't, my throat is too tight. "I'm trying to fix it, but-"  
"She's your little sister, Alex! How could you?"  
It's like she's taken a serrated knife to my chest. For a moment all I can see is thirteen year old Kara, standing in my door in the middle of the night with terrified eyes after one of numerous nightmares. Little Kara cheering from the stands during my high school sports. Her halfhearted grumbling as I dragged her to science fairs. Sneaking out for midnight flights around the neighborhood. The all-nighters we pulled just talking and sharing stories and giggling until the sun peeked through the window in the morning. I wish things could have just stayed that simple.  
"I'm trying to fix it, Mom," I say. I'm surprised that my voice doesn't shake. "I will fix it. Just… Let me know if you hear from her."  
I hang up before I get her response. It's immature of me and I know I'll hear about it later, but I can't listen to more of her disappointment. I have enough of that for myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story, and it's companion for those of you who have read it over on FF, are under some construction at the moment. There are some continuity issues with Voicemail that I had to fix, and also some heavy reworking of plot in Voicemail in order to have some semblance of a chance at the sequel I'm planning.  
> And, of course, life gets in the way.  
> Thanks for sticking around, though. *throws flowers at you all*


	3. Chapter 3

Maggie makes it to the DEO only ten minutes after I call her. Record time. She's marching in with narrowed eyes, full Detective Sawyer mode, before I can even warn J'onn that she's coming. He shoots me an annoyed look over the table, but doesn't say anything about it.

"What do you know so far?" Maggie asks as I stride over to meet her.

"Not much," I say. I nod my head in the direction of my lab, silently urging her somewhere away from prying eyes. "Everything I told you is all we know."

"Have you talked to James?" Maggie asks as we climb the stairs and round the corner into the lab. Thank God it's empty.

"Yeah, right after my mom." I shut the door and immediately sink onto the nearest stool I can find. I run my hand through my hair. "He said he hasn't talked to her in a couple days. They haven't exactly been on the best of terms since the whole Guardian thing so…"

"Mon-El?"

I bury my face in my hands. "I'd rather not."

Maggie drags another stool over next to me and plops down on it. "He's her boyfriend, Alex."

I snort. "He's not good enough for her."

"Weren't you the one who told her to take the chance on him?"

I groan. "Worst advice I have ever given her."

Maggie hums a chuckle and rubs my shoulder soothingly. "We have to talk to him though, babe. You know it."

I feel my face grow hot just at the thought. "I might kill him before we find out anything." My head jerks up and I look at Maggie sharply. "And if he does know where she is and he's not saying I swear-"

"Why don't I handle Mon-El," Maggie interrupts with another rub across my shoulders. For once her touch does nothing to calm me. "I think you have another call to make." She raises her eyebrows at me when I tilt my head in question. "Kara has other family on Earth, doesn't she?"

I didn't think it was possible for my heart to hurt this bad. God, it's like it's going to implode.

Maggie must see it on my face for she pulls me in for a hug and strokes my hair. I tuck my face against her shoulder and focus on breathing in the smell of her leather jacket. It's a miniscule comfort, but it's something.

"You don't really think she'd go to him, do you?" I can't help asking. "I mean, he abandoned her once…" Part of me whispers the accusation right back at me and I cringe further into Maggie's arms. She squeezes me tight.

"Regardless, he's a connection," Maggie murmurs gently in my ear. "A strong one. It's a solid lead, Alex."

I let her hold me for a moment more, barely let myself crack in an attempt to release some of the pressure built up in my chest. It doesn't really work, but I pull away after a moment anyway and wipe my hand across my face. Breaking down won't help me find my sister.

"Okay," I say. "You take Mon-El, I'll take Superman."

Maggie smirks and nudges me with an elbow. "Let's see who can break who first."

I manage a tiny grin in response, and Maggie leans in to press a kiss to my forehead. I close my eyes at the touch and cling with everything I have to the comfort.

"We'll find her, Alex. Promise," she says.

I nod slightly franticly. "Thanks, Maggie."

She give me a small smile and a nod, then makes for the door.

"Maggie?" I call just as she's swinging around the corner.

She pauses and peeks her head around curiously. "Uh huh?"

I heave a breath. "I didn't mean it." I'm suddenly desperate for someone - anyone - to understand. "What I said to Kara, I didn't mean it."

Maggie's shoulders slump. "I know you didn't," she says. "But it's not me you have to convince." She raises her eyebrows at me until I give a shaky nod, then she's gone. Selfishly, I wish she hadn't. I don't want to make this phone call by myself. I don't know what I'm more scared of. That Kara isn't with Clark or that she is.

I shove it all down as far as I can, pulling my phone out of my pocket and dialing the number before my brain can catch up to what I'm doing. As it rings, a small part of me stupidly hopes it goes straight to voicemail.

"Hey Alex!" Is he always so chipper? Must be a Kryptonian thing. "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you," I say. "You have a minute?"

Clark pauses for a second. "Um, yeah. Hang on." I can hear the drone of voices in the background, a shout now and then. Clark is muttering apologies and quiet "excuse me's" and I picture him dodging his way through the newsroom at the Daily Planet. For a moment, I picture Kara doing the same thing back at CatCo. Bright and sunny and weaving her way clumsily around in her argyle and cardigans. My eyes sting at the image and I shake it away.

"Okay, what's going on?" His tone is different. Harder and more determined.

"Have you heard from Kara?" I decide then and there that I need him to say yes, that he's talked with her. Just so I know she's okay. I'm desperate for it.

"No, not since she told me about Jeremiah…"

My heart sinks to the floor. "Are you sure? Nothing?"

"Pretty sure, yeah. Why?"

I run my hand over my face. "Well, if you hear from her could you please call me? It's important."

"Why are you asking, Alex?" His tone makes it clear that he knows something is wrong. Very wrong. I think this is the very first time I've ever called him for anything. But I can't talk to him about it, I just can't. I just need to find my sister.

"Just call me if you hear from her, Clark. Okay?"

Ha pauses for a second and every part of me silently begs him to just let it go. Just for now. "Okay," he says, long and hesitant. "I'll let you know if I hear anything."

"Thanks." I hang up and push the heels of my hands against my eyes, breathing as deep as my lungs will allow. _Can't break yet. Can't break yet._

I hop down from my stool and head back out to the control room. J'onn and Winn are still there, J'onn barking orders to Vasquez about sending troops to intercept some rampaging mutant-thing that I don't give a damn about at the moment. But as soon as he sees me coming he says "Alex, I need you to suit up-"

"Not ‘til I find Kara," I snap. "Clark hasn't heard anything so I need-"

"Agent Danvers, this is an order-"

"No, J'onn!" I shout. The entire room goes silent in an instant and J'onn's eyebrows shoot up. "I need to find Kara! That is more important! _She_ is more important!"

J'onn huffs a breath, then says "Vasquez, send a strike team out. Wait for further orders until I get back." He moves toward me as he speaks, taking my arm gently but firmly and steering me toward the hall. I want to yank away from him but I know it will do me absolutely no good. So I let him pull me in the hall, down a few steps, and into the training room. I have to actively try not to remember Kara training Mon-El so dutifully in this room.

"Alex," J'onn says, voice gentle. "I know you're worried about Kara-"

"Aren't you?" I ask. "You're in there acting like everything is normal, like this is no big deal. She's _missing_ , J'onn."

"She's not missing, Alex. She went on her own." He holds my gaze steadily, letting me process what he means for a long, unbearable minute.

"But… This is her home," I mutter. "We need to bring her home." _I have to explain. I have to fix this._

"Not if she doesn't want to come. She felt like she had to go, we have to respect-"

"I can't!" I shout. I dodge around him and make for the door. "And I won't! I'm finding her and I will drag her back if I have to!"

"Alex-"

I'm back out in the hall before I can hear the rest, and he doesn't stop me as I veer off towards the elevator. I smack the down button several more times than I know I need to, but I can feel the tears coming and I want to be behind those doors before I let one fall. I bark a sharp "Out!" when they open and everyone, regardless of if this is their floor or not, stumbles out with slightly alarmed looks on their faces.

But even as I feel the elevator shoot down the building, even as I step out into the underground parking garage and find my bike and I know I'm alone, I don't break. Somehow, I just can't let myself. There's a pit of despair sitting in my stomach and I can't shake it, but I stubbornly climb on the bike and shove the helmet on my head without letting a single tear fall.

The ride to Kara's apartment building is long and I wish so much that I was just going over for sister night. For a movie and pizza and potstickers and ending up with Kara's head cushioned on my lap as she snores. I park the bike right there on the sidewalk, very illegally, but I think Maggie will do me a favor on that one if I get a ticket. Perks of dating a cop.

I take the stairs at a run and am fully prepared to kick the door down but I end up with my back against the wall as two young guys squeeze through the hall, carrying Kara's couch between them.

My stomach twists painfully. "What the hell do you think you're doing with that?" I exclaim, gesturing to the couch.

They slow in their progress, but they don't stop. One shoots me a confused glance. "Uh, clearing out the space?" he says. "New tenant is furnishing it themselves."

Clearing out the space? New tenant? Instantly feeling nauseous, I stumble on wobbly legs over to Kara's open apartment door.

It's nearly empty. All her little knick-knacks, her furniture, her paintings, they're all gone. All the pictures are gone. Boxes dot the floor, and a glance inside reveal dishes and pots. No clothes, no TV. Nothing.

"Where's the girl who lives here?" I manage to shout in the direction of the door.

"Uh, super said she left," one of the guys shouts back. "Didn't say why. Oh!" There's a thud, an indignant "Ow!" and one of the guys pokes his head in the door. "Are you someone she knows?"

I just nod silently. I can't tear my eyes away from the empty walls. The empty space that used to be so full of my little sister. The hollowness feels claustrophobic.

"Well, super said that box there-" he nods his head towards a small box by the door that I'd completely missed- "is supposed to go to her sister. Do you think you could get it to her? I don't really feel like hunting some lady down."

_Oh God. Oh my God._

I give him a tiny nod and he grins, obviously very pleased that he has one less thing to do. He disappears and I hear him and his companion renew their struggle to get Kara's couch into the elevator. I move toward the box, slide down the wall so that I'm sitting next to it. I heave a deep breath, knowing it'll do me no good, and reach for it with violently shaking hands. It's bent closed and I'm trembling too much to get it open for a second.

The first thing I see is the family picture, the same one that sits on the mantle at my own apartment. Kara, Mom, Dad, and I, all smiling at the camera back at home, back when we were all together and everything was so simple and we were a family. And as I flip through the box, eyes burning more and more with every passing second, I find all the pictures that were missing from the walls and end tables. Every single one of the pictures of her and I, with movie tickets and little post-it notes with scribbled words of love and encouragement. I remember leaving them for Kara when she was in college, right before she got her job at CatCo, all throughout her first year as Supergirl.

My eyes are blurry with tears by the time I get to the bottom of the box. There's a frame there, but the picture is missing. But I recognize the frame, know which picture is supposed to go in it. And the knowledge has the box tilting out of my grip, has me curling my legs up so I can press my face against my knees and fight so hard against the hysterics I want to finally unleash.

It's the picture I know sat next to her bed. The one of her and I at the beach when we were young, right around the time I'd known that this alien girl was my sister no matter what planet she came from. And I'd told her so early that same morning, when she'd worried she was imposing on a family trip to the beach and I'd said that was the biggest load of crap I'd ever heard because she was my family. She'd grinned so happily at me and crushed me in a hug and I remember feeling so light and almost giddily happy that day.

Out of all the pictures, she'd taken that one. The one with one of my favorite memories attached to it, and I know it's one of her favorites, too.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and some desperate part of me is sure that unknown number is calling me back. I yank the phone out, and a glance at the screen has me both disappointed and relieved at the same time. I hit the accept button and try to keep my voice steady. "Maggie? Anything?"

"Bad news, Danvers," Maggie says. "The Daxamite doesn't know where she went."

I rest my head back against my knees and close my eyes. "Are you sure? He's lied to us before." _He has to be lying. Please let him be lying._

"I was pretty firm. I don't think he's lying."

I can’t argue with that and I think my chest might split open. I breathe deep but it only hurts worse.

"Alex? You okay?"

I try to say yes, but it gets stuck in my throat. And when I try again, the only thing that comes out is a jagged sob.

"Alex, talk to me. What are you thinking?"

I breathe out a shuddering breath. "I'm at her apartment and…" I glance around at the emptiness and run my hand through my hair. "I, um…"

"Did you find anything?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and feel the tears finally slide over my cheeks. "It's empty. All her stuff… It's all gone."

"All of it? But… Wait, how is that possible?"

"I don't know, but I'm here and it's gone."

"That doesn't make any sense. The only way that makes sense is…"

Maggie trails off but I don't need her to finish the thought. It's been circling my head since I set foot in here. And now it's staring me in the face and I can't avoid it. I can't refuse to believe it like I have been all day.

And it hurts. It hurts so much I can't breathe and something inside me writhes and thrashes against it. I press my face against my knees with the empty picture frame tucked against my stomach and finally let go of the sliver of composure I've been clinging to. "I don't think she's coming back, Maggie."


	4. Chapter 4

_Three weeks later_

My phone is shrieking and I know it's too early. It's still dark and my head is pounding and I just want to bury it in the pillows and not come out for days.

But it's too early and someone is calling me.

I roll away from where I had been tucked against Maggie's back and scrabble for the phone on the nightstand. Maggie shifts and murmurs out an incoherent mumble as I try to clear my vision enough to hit the right button. I can't even see straight enough to read the caller ID and there's a sliver of me that still hopes it reads "unknown."

"Danvers." I mumble. This better be good.

"I need you to come in." J'onn's voice.

I roll onto my back and rub my free hand across my eyes. "What happened?"

"I think it'd be better if you just came in and saw for yourself." He is curt and cold. I'm awake enough to discern the tight concern in his voice. Something is very, very wrong.

"On my way," I say, a little more clearly. I hang up and take split second to just lay back and close my eyes, to gather myself. My wits, what's left of my strength. _God, I'm so tired._

Maggie's hand reaches over and clumsily runs through my hair. "Get your ass in gear, Danvers," she murmurs. She gives my shoulder a gentle shove and I can't help the tiny grin that curves my lips. I roll over, press a quick kiss to her cheek, and drag myself off the bed to get dressed.

I make it to the DEO in record time with the lack of traffic. There is already a flurry of activity around the control screens, so much that I can barely see them as I walk in. J'onn is barking questions and orders, quick and angry.

I lean over to Winn at his computer. "What's going on?" I ask. I nod over at J'onn with a pointed look.

Winn types furiously on his keyboard without looking at me. "Our old pal Max is back to play."

My face immediately heats up and J'onn snaps, "We aren't sure about how he's involved, Agent Schott."

I march over to J'onn, looking up at the screens. Max's picture is up there, along with blueprints of what I recognize to be Lord Technologies. I spent enough time staring at them last year to know them by heart now. "What is he up to now?" I growl.

"Surveillance came back over the past few days," Vasquez jumps in. She types for a second, and a video feed from Lord Tech pops up on the screen. Moving trucks and blacked out SUV's frequent the camera, moving in and out of heavy doors. Armed guards walk among them. "There's been a lot of activity in the loading docks, escalating ever since…" She glances awkwardly at me and away.

"Ever since my dad came back," I finish for her. She shoots me an apologetic look but nods. "You called me in early for this?" I say to J'onn. My irritation is growing. This is a waste of time. "I mean, it's bad, yeah, but it's not three in the morning bad." I could be sleeping. Or scrolling through news articles for elusive blondes performing heroic acts.

All I get in response is silence. Very loud, pointed silence.

"Is it?" I ask.

Winn exchanges a glance with J'onn. "We, uh, also figured out what Jeremiah stole from us," he says. "It took a lot of digging, I don't know what kind of bug Cadmus gave him but it was tough."

My heart stutters. "And?"

"Alex, it was the National Alien Registry."

My heart plummets and sheer terror shoots through me. "The Registry…" _Kara is on it_.

I remember the day she strutted into my lab, proudly announcing that she was officially a legal alien. I had rolled my eyes and chuckled at her, but even then I had wondered if it was the best idea she ever had. And now my dad has given it to Cadmus, and Maxwell Lord has tried to kill her before, and now there is very strange activity at his lab with moving trucks and SUV's and armed men…

And I haven't heard anything from Kara in weeks.

"Let's go," I snap. I'm already heading toward the armory. "We need a strike team, everyone we've got. We're stopping this."

"Alex, we don't know enough for that," J'onn calls after me.

"He's working with Cadmus," I snarl as I yank my vest down from the wall, strap it on along with my sidearm. "That's all I need to know."

"If we go in there now who knows what kind of mess we'll be dealing with." J'onn puts his hands on my shoulders, halting my movements. His eyes bore into mine. "We don't know anything for sure, Alex," he says. "I called you in here because he responds better to you than he does anyone else. We need to get him to talk before we go in guns blazing. It could be a coincidence."

"You really believe that?" I ask, knowing the answer. "J'onn, my sister is missing, the Registry is stolen, there's more activity at Lord Tech than there has been in a while. There's no way that's a coincidence."

"Lord doesn't need the Registry to go after your sister," J'onn says.

"But Cadmus has it now!" I exclaim. "And he's always hated Kara! There is nothing stopping him from telling Lillian exactly who she is! And even if he didn't, the Registry still marks her as a target!"

"Your father has been with them for years and they never-"

"He's her dad! He would never betray her like that! But there is nothing stopping Max!" I need him to understand. We have to stop this, whatever it is. And the more we stand here talking about it the louder the whine of panic in my mind is getting.

"Not yet, Alex," J'onn says. Firm and final. "We go, we talk, we see what he knows. We'll go from there. If we go in, with the way you are now, people are going to get hurt and we'll be three steps backwards."

"But-"

"Alex. No."


	5. Chapter 5

I had really thought I’d spent my last moments in this office. I’m nearly overwhelmed with the sense of déjà vu as I walk in now, complete with the urge to kick him in his perfect teeth for going after my sister.

“Agent Danvers!” Max crows from behind his desk. “Long time no see!”

“Not long enough,” I snarl. I march right up to his desk and lean over it, hands braced against the top. We’re eye to eye. “Where’s Kara?”

Max smirks. “Still haven’t found your runaway superhero sister, have you? I think the whole city would like to know where she went.”

“Don’t play games with me, Max,” I hiss. “I know you’re working with Cadmus. They want to get rid of Supergirl and you’ve made it no secret that you want the same thing. So _where the hell is my sister?”_

Max huffs out a chuckle and rises from his chair. “I assume all you have on me is circumstantial. Again. Am I right?” He strolls around his desk casually, comfortably.

“Answer the question, Max, or I swear-“

“You’ll do what?” Max challenges. All traces of amusement are gone. He’s glaring at me with that familiar malice. “Arrest me again? Because if I recall correctly, you still work for a government organization that has no jurisdiction. Not until you can prove without a doubt that there is alien activity here. Which-“ he stands uncomfortably close to me, so we’re toe to toe. “You _can’t_ prove.”

And as much as I want to deny it, he’s right. I really don’t have any jurisdiction here. And the video feed isn’t enough to go on to be able to get a search of the place to find the evidence to arrest. The only play I have is to get him to confess. Which he knows, so he won’t. Not outright, anyway. My chest constricts painfully.

“So, Agent Danvers,” Max continues. He struts over to the mini bar and loudly pours himself a glass. “Sounds like you’re back to square one.” He’s so triumphant and it kills me. I needed this. I need to find Kara.

“Max,” I say. My voice comes out almost like a plea. I meet his eyes as he turns, a look of subtle surprise on his face. “Supergirl is missing.”

For a moment, he just looks at me. His face morphs ever so slightly from smug victory to restrained sympathy. He hears what I’m not saying. Want I’m trying to ask.

“Alex,” he says. “Even if I knew where she was, I wouldn’t have to tell you.”

My eyes narrow. “What does that mean?”

Max sips on his glass, sets it down on his desk with a click. “If Cadmus- who have shown that they’re not shy about being extremely public- had managed to capture the Girl of Steel, I think the whole world would know it.”

I cringe at the thought, but I also can’t help but feel the slightest bit of relief. He does have a point. If Cadmus had gotten ahold of Kara, they would no doubt make sure everyone knew. It would be proudly displayed on every screen. I don’t even want to imagine the kind of images they would show if they did.

My stomach is roiling with a mix of intense relief and more despair. I still don’t know where she is. But I school my expression into one of disinterest. “Then why the armed men and trucks in your loading docks?” But I know I won’t get anywhere even before he answers.

Max chuckles. “Can’t divulge company secrets. I’ve had my fair share of corporate espionage.”

I nod. “Fine. But if I find out you’re lying about Supergirl-“

Max holds up his hands in a placating manner. “Consider me warned, Agent Danvers.”

I nod again, holding his gaze for a split second. I turn and head for the door, aching with disappointment. I just need to know where Kara is.

“Alex,” Max calls before I reach to door. I pause and turn back to him, struggling to not let the emotion show on my face.  He’s back behind his desk, looking at me seriously. “Supergirl isn’t in danger if she stays disappeared. _Kara Danvers_ , on the other hand… If her name is on the Registry, she might want to stay alert.”

My stomach rolls again and I think I might be sick. “Careful, Max,” I say quietly. “That was almost a confession.”

Max shrugs and shoots me a satisfied grin. “Good luck in your investigation, Agent Danvers.”

I nod, then push through the door into the hall. I take the walk to the elevator to attempt to calm my racing, aching heart before I pull out my phone and hit the speed dial.

“Hey Danvers, how’d it go with Lord?”

“I need you to arrest him,” I say as I smack the floor level button. The elevator shoots downwards.

“Um, Alex, without evidence I can’t do anything. You know that.”

“I know, I know, but can you find something?” I ask, and I know I’m sounding desperate but I can’t help it. “He all but admitted that he’s with Cadmus, he sort of threatened Kara-“

“’Sort of’ isn’t enough to arrest anyone.”

“I know, Maggie.” I don’t mean to snap but I just need her to do _something_. “I just… I-I need something. I need something to go off of.”

“What you need is a break, Alex,” Maggie says. I can hear the concern lacing her voice. “Look, I know you’re scared and you’re worried, but killing yourself over this isn’t going to help you find Kara.”

“I need to find her before Cadmus does,” I say. The doors open and my legs feel shaky as I walk through the lobby of Lord Tech. “She’s a target as both Supergirl and Kara now.”

“Alex, just stop for a second.”

“Maggie-“

“No. Get to the car and I want you to just sit there for a minute and breathe, okay? You’re freaked out and you’re not thinking.”

I huff out a sigh but do as she says. I climb into the DEO SUV and lean back in the driver’s seat, doing my best to breathe deep _. In and out. In and out._ My heart slows a little, but somehow it feels heavier the longer I sit here. It aches so _much_.

“I have to find her, Maggie,” I say quietly.

“I know, babe,” Maggie murmurs. Soft and comforting. “And you will. Maybe not today, but you’ll find something. You always do. If anyone can find her, it’s you.”

I lean forward, press my forehead to the steering wheel, and squeeze my eyes shut. “I miss her.”

Maggie lets out a sigh. “I know.” She doesn’t say anything else, but just knowing she’s there does something to ease the throbbing. I cling to the comfort of knowing I’m not facing this alone.

I heave a breath and sit up, rubbing the back of my hand across my eyes. “I’m gonna call Clark,” I say. “I don’t know if he registered, but if he did I have to warn him.”

“Okay. Hey, Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got your back, okay? If I can do anything I’ll do it.”

_God I do not deserve this woman_. “Thanks, Maggie.”

I end the call and blow out a huff of breath. As I scroll through to Clark’s name I hope to God he didn’t register for that stupid thing. Kara would be devastated if something happened to him.

It rings four times and I’m thinking he’s not going to pick up when the line clicks on. “Hello.”

He is curt and cold. He sounds way more irritated than I’ve ever heard him and it throws me for a split second.

“Hey, Clark. It’s Alex,” I say.

“Oh… Hi.”

My brow furrows in confusion at his slightly uncomfortable tone. It’s a complete one-eighty from what it was when he answered. “Hey, you got a second? There’s something important I need to talk to you about.”

“Uh… Yeah, okay.” Again with the uncomfortable tone. Uncomfortable and tense.

Something is going on, but I don’t ask.  It’s not important right now. “You didn’t register for the National Alien Registry, did you?” I ask. _Please say no, please say no._

“W-What? Did I register?”

“Yes, Clark, that’s what I asked.” What the hell is wrong with him? “Did you register as an alien?”

“No. N-no, no I didn’t. I didn’t think it’d be the smartest thing for me to do, you know, since I’m… You know.”

On a normal day I would think his stuttering and mumbling was funny, but today it’s putting me on edge. “Are you sure?” I ask. “You don’t sound sure.”

“I’m sure, Alex. I’m not on it. Um, why do you ask, though? Bit random.”

I run my hand through my hair. “I just wanted to make sure. It was, um… It was stolen.”

“By who?” Gone is the uncertainty. He sounds a bit more Superman than Clark Kent now.

“Cadmus.”

“Jeremiah, you mean.”

My temper flares for a second. “I meant what I said.”

“Fair enough. Do you know what they’re planning to do with it?”

“Nothing specific, but whatever it is it’s not good. I’ve spoken to someone I suspect is involved and he not-so-subtly threatened Kara.”

Clark pauses for a second. “Kara registered? Wait, _he knows who she is?_ Who is this guy?”

I shake my head impatiently. “That’s not the point, Clark. The point is she’s being targeted as both Supergirl and Kara Danvers now. And I still have no idea where she is and if something happens and she’s in trouble…” I trail off, the heaviness in my chest settling even more firmly. I close my eyes and breathe as deep as I can. “I have to find her before they do.”

Clark listens to me try to control myself for a moment. “Alex, are you sitting down right now?”

My head jerks up in surprise. “What?”

“I'm going to tell you something, and I think you need to sit down, if you’re not already.” The tone is back.

“Um… I’m sitting.” This can’t be good. And I don’t know how much more I can take today.

Clark takes a breath. “Before I start, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. I wanted to but she asked me not to.”

“ _She_ asked you not to…?” The words seem almost foreign. I can’t comprehend them.

“She came to me about three days after you called. When you asked if I’d heard from her.”

The air is sucked right out of my lungs. I try to form a question, say anything, but nothing comes out except a breathless gasp.

“I wanted to call you, Alex. I swear I did. But she begged me not to. She said it would be better if she could just fly under the radar for a while.”

I lean back in the seat, hand in my hair, and try to think through the absolute maelstrom that is swallowing me now. “Wait, wait,” I rasp out breathlessly. “She’s _there_? With you?”

“Yeah. She’s been staying with Lois and I… for a while.”

I finally get enough air back into my lungs to speak normally, though my voice trembles. “Is she okay?”

I need to know this above everything else. I can deal with the rest if I know she’s okay.

“Well, she’s… Yeah, she’s fine, Alex.”

My already hammering heart stutters. “Clark. What’s wrong with my little sister?”

“She’s…” He seems to deliberate for a moment, then bites out “She’s sad, Alex. What do you expect?”

It’s like he’s ripped my chest open with his bare hands. I picture Kara, my little sister, running to her last surviving blood family. Probably with tears in her eyes and feeling very much abandoned just after I’d promised her I never would. I picture her usually bright, shining eyes dulling with the pain I know she’s feeling because it’s the pain I’m feeling without her here.

I lean my forehead against the steering wheel. “Did she tell you…?”

“Why she ran? No. Well, she didn’t give me details, but I think I’ve got the gist of it. The only thing that can tear her up this bad is you, so…”

_Oh God._ I squeeze my eyes shut and push my head harder against the wheel in a desperate attempt to distract myself from the stabbing in my chest.

“Alex? You okay?”

I ignore him. “She asked you not to call me? I asked you to call if you heard from her. I’ve been looking for her for _weeks_ , Clark.” I should be mad. I want to be mad. It’d be easier than this throbbing ache that’s getting worse and worse as this conversation goes on. But I can’t seem to feel past the guilt and disappointment.

“I know, and I’m sorry. She begged me not to. She said… It was better for you.”

I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. “Is she there? With you, now?”

“Um, no… She said she needed to clear her head so I’m assuming she’s out flying around somewhere.”

My stomach rolls with fear. “Clark as soon as she gets back you need to keep her there. Don’t let her leave your sight, okay?”

“Alex, she’s perfectly fine-“

“No, Clark, this is important.” I sit up and wipe my eyes. “She’s registered and that thing is in Cadmus’s hands. And until I can figure out a way to get it back, she is a target for them. They’ll come after her. You need to make sure she stays safe until I can figure this out.”

“What if she decides she wants to come home?”

Again, it’s like the air has been knocked out of me. I have to steel myself. “She can’t,” I say. It’s killing me, but I know it’s right. “She can’t come home. It’s probably the most dangerous place for her to be right now. Until I can figure out a way to make sure she’s safe, she needs to stay in Metropolis. Can you do that?”

Clark sighs. “She’s not going to like being under house arrest.”

“She can get over it,” I say, drawing a chuckle from Clark. “Please, Clark. Please make sure she’s safe.”

“She’ll be safe here, Alex. I promise.”

Relief courses through me, battling the fear and guilt. “Thank you.”

After a beat, Clark says quietly, “She really misses you, Alex.”

I pull the phone away for a moment so I can gasp out a quiet sob. “I miss her, too.” He has no idea. No idea how much I miss my little sister’s voice, her joyful optimism and unconditional love. I breathe out a shuddering sigh. “Keep her safe till I figure this out.”

“I will. Be careful though.”

“I’ll do my best.”

I hang up the phone and lean against the wheel, not knowing if I feel more relieved that Kara is safe or afraid that if I can’t stop this- whatever it is- that she’ll never be able to come home.


	6. Chapter 6

“Wait, wait, she was there the _whole time?_ ”

“Maggie-“

“And he _never_ told you? That son of a-“

“She asked him not to.”

Maggie throws her hands up in exasperation. “Why the hell would she do that? And why the hell would he even listen? They both had to know you were scared to death, not knowing. Shit, if they could have heard you on the phone last night when you were telling me about Lord…”

I can’t help wincing at the memory of feeling like I was melting in the swirl of panic I was trying so desperately to clamp down. I try to shrug nonchalantly. “That’s not really the point, though-“

“Yeah, the point is I’m going to kick both their-“

“The _point_ is,” I continue forcefully. “Kara is safe for now. Clark promised he would look after her until we figure this out.”

Maggie leans back on the couch and her eyes are trained on the ceiling for a second. She huffs out a sigh, then looks back at me with determined eyes. Detective mode. “Okay, what do you need?”

I can’t help breathing out a small sigh of relief. “I need hard evidence against Max,” I say. “I need a reason to search his lab. Get into those trucks that have been moving around.”

Maggie narrows her eyes slightly. “How can I help with that, though? If the DEO can’t find something-“

“You have your contacts at the alien bar.”

“Yeah…?”

“So have any of them said anything weird was happening lately? Since the Registry was taken?”

Maggie opens her mouth with a disgruntled expression then pauses. Tilts her head just slightly. “You know what,” she says. “Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen Brian in a while.”

“Like, at all?”

Maggie considers it. “No, not since… And Blue said something about some guys hanging around her apartment. She asked me to have a word with them. I did, and I actually haven’t seen her since, either…”

We just stare at each other for a second, and I know the same thought shooting through my head is also in hers. “Have there been missing persons reports filed?” I ask.

Maggie shrugs. “I haven’t had a reason to check.”

“Well, now you do,” I say. I get up from the couch and head for the door.

“To be honest, Alex, I don’t know that my guys would be the ones to do _alien_ missing persons. That seems more of a DEO thing. Where are you going now?”

“Back to the DEO,” I say, pulling my leather jacket on and grabbing my keys from the counter. “I want to be there if Winn finds something. He said he’d be looking through the surveillance footage all night so I’m going to see if he’s found anything. Can you just check on the missing persons reports? We might get lucky.”

“Are we really not going to talk about your sister?”

I pause in the doorframe, and Maggie is looking at me with sympathy and concern leaping out of her eyes. “Alex, you had a bomb dropped on you today. Do you need to talk about it?”

I think I should say yes, but I really don’t think my heart can take any more today. It aches just at the thought. I shake my head. “It’s not important now,” I say “What’s important is taking down Max Lord and Cadmus.”

Maggie nods and stands, crosses over to me and puts her hands on the tops of my arms. “I’ll call if I find anything,” she promises, giving me a squeeze.

I give her a small smile and lean in for a quick kiss. “Thanks, Maggie.” I turn and head down the hall towards the elevator.

“After this we’re talking, Danvers,” Maggie calls after me. I glance back at her, and she’s leaning out the door and fixing me with hard brown eyes. “No more dodging it. Like I said, the days of you suppressing your feelings are over.”

I huff a breath. “Understood.”

 

* * *

 

 Winn’s eyes look about ready to fall out of his head when I walk back into the DEO. They’re almost bulging and bloodshot. I shake the back of his chair playfully as I pass. “You look like crap.”

He scoffs. “Rude.”

“Anything?” I ask. A glance at the screen shows yet another video from Lord Tech.

“Besides one guy face-planting and two trucks almost colliding, I got nada for you, Alex.”

I run my hand over my face. “There has to be something there. We’re just missing it.”

Winn spins around in his chair. “Any theories? I mean, it’s you. You have to have theories.”

I nod. “I talked with Maggie and she said that she hasn’t seen a couple of the aliens from the bar in a while. Not since the Registry was taken. She’s going back to the precinct to check on missing person’s right now.”

“Is that something the NCPD would do? Missing aliens, I mean?”

I shrug. “Doesn’t hurt to look.” But I’m not really all that hopeful. If we hadn’t heard about missing aliens until now, chances are there won’t be a whole lot of reports at the NCPD.

Winn looks back at the screen, at the trucks and SUVs milling around in the loading dock. The armed guards following them, doors closing before we can get a look at what they might be carrying. His face morphs from hesitantly curious to suppressed horror the longer he looks at it. “W-what do you think Max would do with a bunch of missing aliens in his lab of terror?”

I flash back to Bizarro, her stunted speech and black eyes. Her ragged skin and conditioned hatred toward Kara. “Whatever it is,” I say. “It’s not good.”

Winn nods slowly, still staring at the video feed. His eyes narrow and he swivels back to look at me. “And you still haven’t talked about what Clark said.”

My heart plummets so fast I nearly keel over with the weight of it. “Not now, Winn,” I mutter.    

“But-“

“Winn,” I bite out. I give him a slightly desperate look. “Not now. Please.”

 Winn blows out a breath and swings back to his computer screen. “Okay,” he says. “But if you need to I’ve got an ear for you.”

 “For now can we just focus on this, please?” I all but snap. _If people would stop reminding me._

 Winn holds up his hands in a placating gesture. “Whatever you say.”

 I flop into a chair and run my hand over my face. “Can you hack into the cameras on the inside?” I ask. “There’s got to be cameras in there.”

 Winn shrugs. “Tried it. I think after James and I got in last time Lord kicked his security up a notch. Actually, make that about twenty notches. It was hard enough getting _this_ feed.” He clicks through a few frames of the loading docks.

 I suppress a groan. “Okay, so… How about the servers? Can you access anything from that? At the very least we need to get the Registry back, even if we can’t arrest Max.”

 Winn swirls around and fixes me with a wounded expression. “What do you think I am? A rookie? Of course I’ve tried to access the servers. It’s _Lord Tech_ , Alex. Getting in _is_ rocket science.”

 I blow out a breath and I’m up on my feet again, pacing around the table. _There has to be something, there has to be something_. “Okay, fine. So-“

“Agent Danvers? A word?”

 I turn, and J’onn is standing there with his arms crossed, shooting me a pointed look. He doesn’t see me as Alex Danvers, his surrogate human daughter, now. He is the Director of the DEO, and I am his agent. My stomach swoops with apprehension. “Sir-“

“Now, Alex.” There is no room for argument. My shoulders slump as I force my feet to move, to follow J’onn upstairs and into an empty conference room. My phone buzzes against my leg, but I swipe the decline button without looking at it. No way J’onn lets me take a phone call right now. He closes the door and I have to really work to not flinch at the very loud click.

He turns to me and crosses his arms again. “You spoke to Clark.”

The reminder is a stab in my chest. “I told you that already,” I bite out. _I can’t talk about this right now. I can’t._

“All you said was that Kara was there with him.”

“That’s all that needed to be said.”

“And you’re okay with that? That he didn’t tell you for weeks?”

 Another stab and I can’t help wincing. “I have to be okay with it,” I say. “As long as she’s safe I’m okay with it.” It’s only half a lie.

“Alex-“

“That shouldn’t even be important right now, J’onn,” I say. “What’s important right now is getting the Registry back and taking down Max Lord. Because you and I both know she won’t be safe at Clark’s forever. They’ll find her eventually.” And I can barely stand the thought. It’s making me sick, making it harder to clamp down on the wave of fear that’s been swirling in my heart since Kara left.

“Even with the Registry back, Lord still knows Kara’s identity.”

 I nod. “That’s why we need to arrest him. Put him away so even if he does want to give her up he can’t.”

“He’s known about her for months now, Alex. He’s never said anything before.”

 I scoff. “He wasn’t working with Cadmus before. And I’m not taking that chance, not with Kara’s life. We need the Registry, but if we can, we have to arrest him. It’s the only way to make sure she’s completely safe.”

J’onn looks at me with an unfathomable expression, a subtle mix of sympathy, pity, and his own pain. “Are you okay to continue on this case?” he asks quietly.

My face heats up. “Don’t you dare take me off it.”

“You’re upset, you’re emotional-"

“My sister’s life is at stake here, J’onn. And who knows how many other aliens are at risk of whatever Max is up to. I _need_ to be on this case.”

“I think you need-“

The door crashes open and both J’onn and I flinch. Winn pauses for a split second, seeming to realize he is interrupting what was turning into a very heated conversation. “Um, I think I’ve got something you need to see,” he says. He moves to back out the door, then pokes his head back in. “Actually, on second thought, you definitely need to see this.”

I shoot J’onn a glare and follow Winn out the door without another word to him. “What is it?” I ask. I feel J’onn follow us, but at a distance.

Winn is practically flying down the stairs with his tablet in his hand, tapping away furiously on it. “I was flipping through the footage from the last week, and the activity was always pretty regulated. There was a schedule.” He gives the tablet one final tap, and all the big screens feature the familiar view of Lord Tech. “See? Watch.”

Winn fast forwards the video, and the vehicles zoom back and forth in quick blurs. I watch the time stamp, seeing a pattern as the days go on. “There’s more of them when it was late at night,” I say.

Winn nods excitedly. “Yeah. But check out what happened yesterday.” He taps on his tablet, and the time stamp shows seven o’clock yesterday evening. The loading bay is empty of trucks, but the guards are milling about with agitated speed, gesturing wildly to one another. I can imagine there was a lot of yelling going on. The massive doors leading into the bowels of Lord Tech all roll closed, much earlier than they had been every other day.

My heart begins to thunder. “Something happened. Something changed.”

“Yup,” Winn says. “And it freaked everyone out.”

I turn to J’onn, eyebrows raised. “We need to get in there. Now.”

J’onn shakes his head. “We still don’t have enough. We don’t have jurisdiction-“

“Danvers what’s the point of having a phone if you won’t answer it?”

I whirl around, heart leaping, and Maggie is marching toward us with disgruntled determination. And behind her, looking around with terrified eyes and looking very disheveled is-

“Brian?” I ask. I look up at Maggie, striding over to meet her. “Maggie, you can’t just bring him-“

Maggie waves an impatient hand. “Later, Danvers. He’s got something to say that you need to hear.” She turns to Brian and waves another hand toward me. “Tell her what you told me.”

Brian opens his mouth uncertainly but I beat him to it. “Wait, wait,” I say. “Back up. Didn’t you say he was missing?”

“Just listen, Alex. I think he’s your evidence.”

My heart leaps again, and I take a step toward Brian. He flinches back. “Brian?” I say.

He’s shooting terrified looks between Maggie and I, blue skin paling until he’s nearly white. “Look, for the record, I was always going to go-“

“Just tell her what happened, Brian,” Maggie snaps. “And quickly.”

“Okay, okay,” he stutters. His hands fidget with his torn, dirty tie. “Um, yeah, so these guys grabbed me a couple weeks ago, I thought it was for some m-money I owed. But they put me in one of those big shady vans and took me to that place.” He gestures up to the screen where the video is paused on Lord Tech. My stomach is rolling with something that feels like excitement. Victory.

“And what happened there?” J’onn barks. “Who did you see? What did you hear?”

“How did you get out?” I ask. If we know how Brain escaped, it might be our way in.

Brain shrugs, looking between me and J’onn now with the same frightened, uncertain eyes. “They locked me up with a bunch of other… Non-humans and said we would be t-taken care of. Some guy came by yesterday and set me loose. He told me to come to you-“ he nods at Maggie- “and you’d know what to do.”

There is a beat of silence while Brian fidgets and I stare at Maggie, trying to get my brain to catch up to what he was saying. She just shrugs at me with a “I have no clue, either” expression. “So… Someone set you free?” I say, testing out the words. “And they sent you to Maggie? Who was it?”

But I think I know. And my chest is swelling with suppressed hope.

Brian shrugs. “He didn’t say. Had a bionic arm thingy, though.” He waves his own arm as if he’s demonstrating.

There is a beat of loaded silence while Brian’s eyes flit between us. I have to clench my fists to keep my hands from shaking as I turn to J’onn. “J’onn,” I say quietly. “He’s no traitor.” _I knew it._ I’m trying so hard to clamp down on the balloon of warmth spreading through my chest but I can barely control it.

J’onn shakes his head. “He stole the Registry, Alex.” But I can see the warring emotions in his eyes. He wants to believe it, too.

I gesture to Brian. “So why would he send him to Maggie? Why would he be trying to put it right?”

“Maybe he’s trying to trap us?” Winn suggests hesitantly.

I wave a hand at the screens. “They wouldn’t react like that if it was all part of the plan. You saw them, J’onn.” My voice sounds like I’m pleading but I just can’t help it. “They were panicked. This wasn’t planned and you know it. He’s trying to help us.”

I can practically hear the gears in J’onn’s head turning as he considers it. He just stares at me while I plead silently with him to please just believe in my dad this one time. Just once. We need this.

“Vasquez,” he barks out so suddenly all three of us flinch. “Assemble a strike team, we’re going to need an extensive one.”

A grin, the first real one in weeks, spreads across my face. I turn to Maggie as J’onn steps away, handing out assignments to the other agents. I grip the tops of her arms and lock eyes with her. “Thank you,” I say, and plant a quick but passionate kiss on her lips.

She’s startled but smiling when I pull away. “Want me to go with you?” she asks hopefully.

I back away from her, shaking my head. “No. Stay here,” I say. I point at Brian and he cowers like I’m holding a gun to his head. “Keep _him_ out of trouble. We still need him.” I’m not about to let our only witness out of our sight.

I turn and head for the armory without even asking J’onn if I can be on this team. I don’t give a crap what he says, I’m going. I’m going to get the Registry back, I’m going to arrest Max, and I’m going to rescue my dad if I can.

 I’m just stepping through the door, eyes already scanning the walls for my favorite alien gun, when my phone buzzes against my leg. I chance a glance at the caller ID as my other hand reaches for the gun, intending to just make a note of who’s calling and get back to them when we’re through this mess. There’s no way I will be able to focus on anything else right now-

**Clark Kent**.

My heart stutters and my stomach swoops. My fingers are immediately clenched around the phone, gun completely forgotten, and I’m smacking the accept button before the second ring is through. “Is she okay?” I demand.

“It’s me.”

_Kara_. My knees go weak and I have to brace my hand against the wall to remain upright. My heart throbs with a strange mix of unbridled joy and shattering heartbreak. It’s like I’m being torn in two.

_Kara Kara Kara._

“Hi,” I murmur, slightly breathless with the pangs shooting through my chest. _I’m sorry, I love you, please come home, I need you._ Everything I’ve been longing to say gets lodged in my throat, choking me.

“What’s going on?” She sounds confused and worried. “Clark said something about Max being with Cadmus now? And the Registry being stolen?”

_Wait, what?_ I’m so lost in the miracle that is her voice, missing her so much, choking on what to say, that for a moment I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about. Does it really even matter?

“Alex? You okay?”

“Yeah,” I gasp out. “Y-yeah, I-I’m okay. Um, yeah, so… Wait.” I force myself to think past the throbbing in my chest. “I never told him it was Max.”

“His exact words were ‘Some guy who knows who you are and hates you enough to threaten you.’ I put two and two together.”

A chuckle bursts out of me. “Fair enough.” _God, I’ve missed talking to her_. “But yeah, we think so. He all but admitted it to me, we’ve got a witness that was captured and taken to his lab for who knows what. I think we’ve got him this time.”

“So what’s the plan? I could come and-“

“No!” I don’t mean to shout, but the mere thought of her being anywhere near Max Lord or Cadmus is like having ice water poured over me. “You have to stay where you are.”

Kara pauses for a second and I know I’ve said the _worst_ thing I could have possibly said. “I didn’t mean, like, to s-stay.” Her voice is slightly unsteady and it kills me. “I just meant long enough to help get the Registry back and-“

“Kara, listen,” I say. I glance out the armory door and J’onn’s eyes are piercing mine. I can’t tell if he’s reading my mind, reading the tumult there, or just silently trying to tell me to get the hell off the phone. I talk quickly. “Right now, National City is probably the most dangerous place for you to be, as Supergirl and Kara Danvers. Clark isn’t registered, there’s nothing to connect you with him. Staying with him is the safest place for you to be right now until we can sort this out.”

“But I want to help,” she protests and I can’t help but smile. Stubborn little alien. “If you just tell me when you’re moving against them I’ll be there and-“

“We’re going right now, Kara.” J’onn is giving me a very heated glare now and I hold up a finger. Just give me one more minute of knowing my little sister is right there on the other end of the phone. Just one more minute.

“Now? Like right now?”

“As in I’m standing in the armory suiting up as we speak.”

“Oh… I’ll be there in an hour.”

“No, Kara,” I say as forcefully as I can. “You can’t, its-”

“I won’t stay, I promise.” Her voice breaks on the last word and I grip the doorframe so tight my knuckles turn white. “Just long enough to make it right and I’ll-“

“Kara, hang on. Stop.” I sound even more strangled than she does. I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. “I want you home more than anything, I swear. But you can’t. Not yet. It’s not safe for you here, okay?”

“Alex, let’s go!” J’onn shouts.

I shoot him a furious look. “Hold on!” I yell back.

“It’s not safe for you either, Alex,” Kara says.

“Safer for me than you,” I say, and she scoffs. “Please, Kara. Stay in Metropolis for now.” I glance back up at J’onn, and the rest of the other agents are all geared up. Ready and waiting. I have to go, I have to hang up. 

I think it's going to kill me.

“Look, I gotta go now,” I say, and the words are breaking my heart. “I’ll call you when we get back, okay?”

“But-“

“ _Agent Danvers!”_ J’onn’s voice is borderline dangerous. I half expect to see the Martian Manhunter when I jerk my head up to look at him.

“I love you, Kara,” I say. Tears are burning in my eyes and I don’t want to hang up this phone. “I’ll call you. I love you.”

I pull the phone away from my ear and have split second to hear her call my name before I hit the end button.

And I don’t give myself a moment to reign in the agony shooting through my chest. I run my hand over my eyes, grab my gear, and march over to my waiting team with tears still burning in my eyes.

 


	7. Chapter 7

J’onn goes over the mission so fast I can barely keep up. I just manage to catch that we’re to go in, find any imprisoned aliens, and extract them quietly. And if at all possible, locate and extract the Registry. J’onn is assigning teams and I listen long enough to know I’m leading Bravo team. It doesn’t help that I’m still lost in the haze of missing Kara and hating myself for hanging up the phone. I should have kept talking to her, I should have explained, I should have-

“Hey Alex, you good?”

I flinch even though Winn’s voice is quiet and gentle. He’s looking at me with concerned eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’m great,” I mutter. “Ready to go.”

He gives me a disbelieving look. “Okay… Can I talk to you for a second?” He cowers only slightly at the glare I give him. “It’s not about Kara,” he says quickly. “I think I might have something you can use to get the Registry.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “And you’re only just now telling me this?”

Winn shrugs with exasperation. “Well, you kinda need to be in there for it to work and we only just now decided to go in so yeah, I’m just now telling you.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, what?”

 “Okay, so last year, Kara, James and I hacked into one of the board member’s computers at Catco-“

“Wait, what? That’s how they got that guy?”

“So not the point here.” He gives me a disgruntled look, then continues. “So I was able to get into all his files using this little baby.” He holds up what looks like a tiny button. “All you have to do is attach it to a computer and I’ll be able to access all the files on it from here.”

I raise my eyebrows. “All of them? Ever?”

Winn nods with a proud smile. “All of them.”

“So the Registry…?”

“Easy peasey, fresh and squeasy.”

I feel my lips turn up in a relieved grin and I grip both of Winn’s shoulders. “You’re a genius.”

His face turns scarlet, but he shrugs nonchalantly. “I know.”

I give him a squeeze just as J’onn gives the order to move out. I move to follow, walking backwards as I talk to Winn. “You’ve got a live feed hooked up, right? I’m going to need you to talk me through this.”

Winn waves a hand. “I’ve got it covered, Alex. Get to a computer and I’ll take it from there.”

I give him a nod, then turn to follow the rest of my team out. But J’onn grabs my arm, stopping me just before I can head out of central command. He stares down at me with a hard look in his eyes. “Are you up for this?”

For a moment I wonder what he means. Am I up for rescuing hostage aliens, trying to get my dad back, and recovering the Registry that has placed a target on my little sister’s back even more than she already did? Am I up for this mission when my heart feels like it’s being split between Kara, my dad, and the aliens?

I give him the most confident nod I can. “I got this,” I say. And I do. I _will_ do this.

J’onn searches my face for a moment. He must be satisfied with what he finds, for he releases me with a nod and a quiet, “Alright, then.”

 

* * *

 

 

The ride over to Lord Tech is dominated by silence. I’m in the passenger seat, trying to think around the ache in my heart, and no one says a word. I think we’re all acknowledging that even though we’re meant to get in and out silently as possible, this mission is going to be anything but quiet.

“Alex, get your team ready,” J’onn’s voice says in the comms. “You’ll be first to go in through the loading docks. Keep as quiet as possible for as long as possible.”

“I need to find a computer, Sir,” I say back. I signal for everyone to lock and load. “At the very least we need to get the Registry, otherwise this is pointless.” And I’d very much like to slap a pair of handcuffs on Max’s wrists, but something tells me that’s not going to happen tonight.

“We need to find any possible hostages first. They are priority. The Registry will come after. Understood?”

I feel my face flush with frustration, but it’s not worth arguing with him right now. “Yes, sir,” I say. But I know if I see an opportunity, I’m taking it. I have to make sure Kara is safe first. I hope he knows that.

“And Alex,” Winn’s voice says. “It can’t be just any old computer. It’s gotta be authorized from the server. Just any old corporate desktop isn’t enough.”

I lean my head back against the seat. “So… Max’s office computer?” This just keeps getting better and better.

“Yeah, that should do it.”

I roll my eyes. “Sounds great.”

We’re approaching Lord Tech now and Agent Vasquez shuts off the lights. We cruise in until we’re about two blocks away from the building. As quietly as possible, my team and I get out of the truck and gather around the back. The nervous tension in the group emanates so powerfully it’s almost tangible.

“Fingers off triggers until absolutely necessary,” I say to my team. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they are waiting for us, but until we’re fired upon do not take a shot.” There are determined faces and nods all around. “Priority is to find any hostages, but if I see an opportunity to hack into the system I’m going to take it. Agent Vasquez-“ I give her a hard stare- “You’re taking point if that opportunity comes. Got it?”

“Got it, Danvers,” she says. She doesn’t look as nervous as the others. She even shoots me an excited, eager grin.

I nod at her. “Alright. Stack up and let’s go.”

In a tight, controlled line, we move silently toward Lord Tech, staying close to the walls of the buildings. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see another team across the street doing the same. We head toward the back of the building, where the empty loading docks are waiting. Bathed in darkness and doors shut tight. Every instinct inside me is screaming that it’s too quiet. There’s something wrong.

“Heads on a swivel,” I whisper. They have to know we’re close.

“Agent Danvers, we’ve managed to shut down the surveillance cameras out there,” J’onn says over the comms. “But you’re not going to have a lot of time before-“

The other side of the building suddenly erupts with noise. Gunshots and shouts ring out, echoing loudly in the silence of the loading bay. Over the comms, I hear the other team leaders shouting that they are blown and taking fire. More shouts that Henshaw is over there and wreaking havoc with his modified Heat Vision.

_Screw quiet._

“Let’s go!” I shout, and we’re moving in toward one of the doors. The area is suddenly flooded with light and bullets ping the pavement around us. My team’s weapons blaze to life and the few Cadmus operatives by the doors drop lifelessly.

“Get in and find any hostages you can!” I shout. “Shoot hostiles on sight!”

We stack up on a side door and Agent Butler kicks it open. We zip in, one after the other, into the wide warehouse-like area. A few of the SUV’s dot the space, along with one of the bigger moving trucks. They must have moved all the others when they realized Brian had been released. Frustration jolts through me at the loss of evidence, but I think we have enough to go off of now. Hopefully it won’t hinder us too much in arresting Max and anyone else we find.

Across the floor, a few more Cadmus operatives burst in from the main building, firing at us. They are dropped nearly instantly by my team, and we move across.

“If you were hiding a bunch of aliens, where would you put them?” Butler asks as we stack back up on the open door.

“Basement,” Vasquez immediately says. “Where he had that girl, the comatose one.”

I wince at the thought. The basement is the total opposite direction of Max’s office. I can’t lead my team down there and get the Registry at the same time.

Vasquez glances at me, seems to read the deliberation on my face. “Danvers, if we get you to the lobby, can you get the rest of the way by yourself?”

I look over at her, my heart swelling with something like gratitude. “Yeah. Definitely.”

Vasquez nods with an understanding smile. “Lobby first, then basement. You go get what you need.”

“Alex,” J’onn says with a hard voice. “The Registry-“

“I have to get it,” I interrupt. “J’onn, my family’s safety comes first. You know that.”

“But-“

“And who knows what else could be in those files, Sir,” I say. “We can’t pass this up, it’s too big.”

J’onn hesitates for a split second, then says, “Agent Danvers, we’re having a long conversation about following orders when you get back.”

I can’t help but grin at the slight fatherly tone he can’t conceal. “Understood.” I turn to the rest of the team. “Alright, we’re going for the lobby. Ready?”

More nods, a little more confident and eager than before.

“Let’s go.”

Only a handful of Cadmus agents try to intercept us in the hallways of Lord Tech. I take out a few with the alien gun and am way too satisfied in the way the blast flings them against the walls and to the floor. But I know even as we move that it’s too easy. There are too few agents trying to stop us. In the pit of my stomach, I know the lobby is going to be the hard part. Apprehension twists and writhes.

The huge glass window in the lobby is blasted open when we get there, the shards littering the floor like a mosaic. And just as I thought, it’s full of flying bullets and shouts. Over the comms, I know all four teams are stuck here, throwing rounds at the Cadmus agents standing between us and the basement corridors.

“J’onn!” I shout, taking aim at a Cadmus agent at the top of the stairs. I fire, and the blast throws him off the stairs. “We need backup!”

“I’ve already sent three more teams. They should be there in a few minutes. ”

I take another shot at an agent making a run for cover across the room. _I have to get to Lord’s office. I have to get to Lord’s office._

I look sharply over at Vasquez as she takes a few shots with her M-4. “You got this?” I shout. “I’m going for the stairs!”

She gives me a grin and a nod. “Go get what you need! We got this!”

A thrill of pride shoots through me as my team lays down cover fire and I sprint across the lobby with bullets pinging the walls and floor around me. A few Cadmus operatives move to intercept me on the stairs, but I pick them off one by one with my alien gun and sprint on. Up the stairs and through the halls. The path to Max’s office is way too familiar to me, but for once I’m thankful that I’ve made this trek so many times. It’s fast and I’m in the office only minutes after I leave my team.

I switch on the camera on my vest as soon as I’m in front of the computer. “Winn?” I say, looking over the flickering numbers and words that look so incredibly foreign to me. My heart sinks. “You seeing this?” From a distance, more gunshots ring out and I can’t help wincing. I hope with everything in me that my agents are okay. I don’t know what I’ll do if someone goes down and I’m not there.

“I see it.” Winn’s voice is high pitched, but whether it’s from excitement or fear I can’t tell. “We got this.”

“Hope so,” I mutter. “Cuz I don’t understand any of it.”

Winn scoffs over the comms. “If you did I wouldn’t have a job. Okay, you got your bug?”

I wordlessly hold the button in front of the camera on my vest.

“There it is! Okay, attach that to the back of the monitor. And don’t be like James and go nine rounds with it, it’s just a little plastic bo-“

I pop the back of the commuter off and slap the little thing onto a random circuit.

“That’s how it’s done! Too bad he isn’t here to see-“

“Winn. Focus. What next?”

“Oh! That’s it.”

I sit back a bit. “Seriously?”

“Yup. I’ve got a bunch of juicy-looking files uploading as we-“

The screen suddenly goes red. A blueprint of Lord Tech dominates the space, flashing red and white. On the ground and basement levels, there are boxes of white on every corner, flashing and blinking. And up at the top of the screen is a clock. Starting at a minute and a half, ticking down. 1:29, 1:28…

“Oh… Well, that was not supposed to happen.”

“What the hell is that?” I demand. Except I already know. Of course I do. I was stupid to not think this could happen. _Damn him and his fail-safes._

“Apparently, the download triggered some sort of defense,” Winn says, and his voice is now quivering. I can picture him staring at his screen, typing frantically at his computer. “And I guess… they don’t want whatever’s in the basement to live?”

“They’re bombs, Alex,” J’onn’s voice carries over, confirming what I already knew. But hearing the words has my stomach doing flips of suppressed panic. “And there’s no way we can evacuate the building in time. We’re not even through to the basement yet.”

I clench my fists in a desperate attempt to stop the instant trembling. Then I’m leaning forward, eyes flitting over the screen. “Then we need to stop it,” I say with much more confidence than I actually feel. “Winn, tell me how to stop it.”

“Uh, Alex, you need to get ou-“

“There are four teams of agents in this building, Winn!” I shout. “And who knows how many aliens there could be down there! If those things go off the entire building is going up! We need to shut it down!”

“Okay okay okay! Um- uh- okay, just give me a sec-“

“Winn!”

“Okay, you need to get into the-“

Something yanks on the straps of my vest and I’m suddenly airborne, crashing through the door and out into the hallway. I roll onto my stomach, a stabbing pain shooting through my ribs, and I’m snatched up again. For a split second, I have a view of Henshaw’s twisted, half-metal face before he slams a fist into my side, knocking the breath out of me. I try to yelp at the pain but all that comes out is a breathless gasp.

He gives me and insane grin. “Time’s up,” he growls, and he heaves me across the hall. I crash through the wall in a shower of dust and drywall.

My ears are ringing, I can’t breathe, my side is throbbing, but I shakily rise up onto my hands and knees. I reach for my weapon, but Henshaw’s fist comes out of nowhere and smashes against my hand. I cry out and the weapon drops to the floor. Henshaw’s hands wrap around my throat and haul me up high, slam me up against the wall and hold me there. I kick and squirm frantically, but his grip is so tight, there’s no way I can shake loose.

He squeezes and my hands scrabble desperately at his. Blackness is edging in and my heart thunders with panic. Henshaw grins manically and hisses “One down. Three to go.”

A blue and redstreak smashes into Henshaw from the side and his hands are ripped from my throat. The impact flings me to the floor and I’m gasping on my hands and knees to get my breath back. Through the gaping hole in the wall, in a tangle of limbs, my little sister wrestles with Henshaw out in the hallway, desperately wrapping him in a chokehold so tight that I know it would instantly kill him if he’d still been completely human.

_Kara’s here, Kara’s here, Kara’s here_. The thought is suddenly on a loop in my head and some of the tension in my chest releases. Even though I’m still hacking and coughing for a breath, my heart swells with the certainty that somehow everything is going to be fine.

Kara locks her eyes on mine, arms constricting around Henshaw’s neck as he rips at her. “Go!” she shouts.

Still heaving for breath, I drag myself back to my feet and use the wall to stumble back to the computer. The timer is down to one minute. “Winn,” I gasp. “Talk fast.” 

“Are you- Kara- Alex I’m not-“

“Winn!”

“Okay okay okay! You need to override the lockdown, then put in the override code for the bomb!”

“Tell me how!”

As Winn yells instructions in my ear and my trembling fingers stumble over the keys, Kara staggers in with wild eyes and an arm wrapped gingerly around her stomach. She’s pale and disheveled, looking more panicked than I’ve ever seen her.

She’s literally the most comforting and beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

She stumbles over to stand next to me, free hand braced against the desk top, shoulder pressed against mine as she stares at the screen. Her head tilts slightly toward me, like she’s listening to Winn’s frantic yelling in my ear. For a split second I’m overwhelmed with relief that she’s here and my eyes blur momentarily with tears. I lean over to press a quick kiss to the side of her head.

It’s the only reunion we’ll get until we’re out of this mess.

I can feel her eyes on me as I follow Winn’s directions as fast as I can with my shaking fingers. On the screen, the timer ticks on downwards. 30, 29, 28, 27…

“Winn, hurry up,” Kara calls toward the earpiece.

“Tell your sister to take a typing class!” he shouts back.

I nudge Kara with my elbow. “Not helping! Focus, Winn!”

“Okay, okay! See that icon there? Press that!”

I pull the curser up and am about to click it when Kara gasps next to me and shoves me sideways so forcefully I nearly crash into the window. I hear the telltale twang of Heat Vision, but it’s too high pitched to be Kara’s. I look up in time to see her duck under a beam of blue, then lunge over the desk to tackle Henshaw back out into the hall.

I scramble back to the desk, crawling more than anything else, and frantically move the cursor. Winn is screaming my name in my ear, there’s a crash out in the hall, Kara cries out in pain, and the clock ticks down to 7.

I click the mouse furiously and the 7 quivers there, unmoving.

“Huh,” I huff. “With time to spare.”

From out in the hall, Kara shouts my name with such desperation that my heart lurches painfully. I look up, and Henshaw is tossing something through the doorway before Kara’s Heat Vision blasts him from the side and away from the door.

I hear the unmistakable sound of a rolling grenade, turn in time to see it tap against the desk right next to me. My stomach twists with terror and I know I’m about to be blown to pieces.

There’s a wordless shriek and something slams into me so hard the breath whooshes from my lungs. There’s a roar of thunder, a burst of strobing light and my ears ring for a split second. Then there’s nothing.

               


	8. Chapter 8

The sounds are all wrong. Distorted. There’s an incessant ringing overshadowing everything. It’s throwing me off. I can’t focus around it.

And my head hurts. It’s throbbing, actually. Or is it my back? Or my ribs? I eventually decide all of the above. Everything hurts. And my ears are still ringing. What the hell happened that is making me feel so shitty? I try to remember but it hurts. Maybe I don’t want to remember.

Someone is shouting. Crying. It’s too muffled to make sense. And the more I try to hone in on it, hold on to it, the more my head hurts. I shy away from it and everything goes quiet again.

 

* * *

 

The pain in my head is quickly being surpassed by the stabbing in my side. The ringing is quieter, the shouting louder. It still sounds like it’s coming from underwater, but it’s clear enough that it sounds like my name. It’s a voice I know. It means comfort and love and sun and warmth. Twisted and ragged with terror.

“Alex! Alex, please! Come on!”

She’s crying. I need to comfort her. It hurts more with every passing second, but I cling to her voice and let it guide me away from the muffled dark.

“Alex! _Alex_!” I feel her fists on my vest, shaking me. Trembling. Clinging. “Please, Alex!”

I force my hand to move. I’m aiming to grip her arm, but my hand just flops uselessly against what I discover to be hard pavement beneath me.

“Alex!”

“Hey.” My voice is a breathy whisper. I crack my eyes open and my sister is a blurry outline, leaning over me.

“Oh Rao, Alex!”

I blink a few times, trying to clear my vision to see her. She’s in focus enough that I notice the soot smudged on her skin, the tear tracks down her cheeks. The tears still streaming from her eyes.

She’s crying and I hate it. I hate it so much it burns in my heart. My hand reaches up and I just manage to cup her cheek, thumb away the tears. “It’s okay,” I murmur. “It’s okay.”

Kara coughs out a sob and leans over, burying her face against my collarbone and clutching the shoulder straps of my vest. Her tears drip onto my skin and I feel her heave a deep breath against my neck.

“You scared me to death,” she whimpers.

I lean my throbbing head until my cheek is pressed against her head. I let my hand move so my fingers are tangled in her hair, moving through it in what I hope are soothing strokes. I don’t say anything, just let my sister hold on to me and run my fingers through her hair. The jagged tear in my chest fills until I finally breathe easy for the first time since I listened to that voicemail from an unknown number.

Well, as easy as I can with this shooting, stabbing pain in my side. I think it’s getting worse, but I can’t really focus very well on it. Not with Kara crying into my shoulder.

“You okay?” I whisper against her hair.

She nods but doesn’t look up from where her face is tucked against me. “I’m okay,” she murmurs.

The tension in my chest releases and my eyes slide closed with relief. And I’m suddenly so tired I could fall asleep right there. I’m falling rapidly, almost eagerly, toward it.

“Alex?” Kara’s voice is panicky. Her fingers brush against my cheek. “Alex?”

“I’m here,” I breathe, though I don’t open my eyes. The dark is comforting, as is Kara’s hand running over my hair.

“Try to stay that way, okay?” she says, and my lips twitch up in a grin. “Can you open your eyes? Please?”

I really don’t want to, but she sounds scared so I drag my eyelids back open and focus on her watery blue eyes. “What happened?” I whisper. I move to sit up, but even the smallest movement sends white-hot fire shooting through my ribs and I fall back with a breathless gasp.

Kara’s hands are immediately on my shoulders, holding me in place. “Okay, okay, you’re okay,” she says, slightly frantically. “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere,” I gasp. God, it’s all I can think about now. That sharp pang is ripping through my ribs like a serrated blade.

“Okay, hold on,” Kara says. She fits her hand in mine. “Squeeze as hard as you need.”

I crush her hand and try to draw in a short breath. It’s all I can manage now. “Kara it hurts,” I rasp.

“I know, I know it does,” Kara says, and her voice is still tight with fear. “I’m gonna take a look, okay?”

I look up at her, wheezing and squeezing her hand, and she squints at my ribs with her x-ray vision. Her eyes go impossibly wide and panicked. “I have to get you help,” she says. She looks up and around us, gripping my hand. “Damn it, you need help.”

“What is it?” I gasp out.

“Broken ribs, but you’re bleeding internally too.” Tears leak out of her eyes and she swipes them away. “I have to get some help.”

My heart lurches and I hang on to her hand. “Don’t leave,” I rasp.

Kara looks down at me and more tears drip over her cheeks. “Alex, I can’t-I don’t… I don’t know what to do,” she says. Her eyes flit between me and the space around us, where I can barely hear the sound of sirens, gunshots, and shouting. “I can’t just…”

She locks her eyes on mine and I really struggle to hold her gaze, to not let the darkness that’s been creeping up take over. I watch her war with herself and I’m so terrified that she’s going to fly off looking for help and leave me here just trying to keep my eyes open. I don’t think I’ll be able to without having her here to hang on to.

Her face suddenly morphs to steely determination, though tears still pour out of her eyes. “I’ll carry you,” she says. “It’s gonna hurt you, but…” She trails off with a tortured expression and I hear what she’s not saying. _We don’t have a choice_.

I give her a nod and the most confident grin I can manage. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

Kara’s eyes crumple for a split second, then she cups my face with both hands and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’m really really sorry, Alex,” she whispers.

Before I can tell her off she scoops me up in her arms, cradling me against her chest and leaps into the air. My ribs and stomach shriek with pain and I cry out, try as I might not to. I squirm in Kara’s grasp, trying to get away from the agony ripping through my ribs.

“I know it hurts, Alex.” Kara’s voice is in my ear, soft but wavering. “But you need to stop moving, it’s hurting you more.”

I try to focus on the wind in my hair, the weightlessness of flying with Kara for the first time since we were kids, but it hurts, God it hurts. I think I might be sick. I clench my fist around a handful of Kara’s suit and try to bite down on the whimpers escaping. I squeeze my eyes shut and the colors kaleidoscope behind my lids in quick bursts and swirls.

“Stay with me, Alex. We’re almost there.” Her voice is distant and muffled and my chest twists with fear. I want her to keep talking, I need her voice to hang on to.

I feel a jolt that sends flames through my ribs. Kara’s voice is shouting, desperate and panicked. There are other voices overshadowing hers, and I think I’m laying down now. I can’t feel Kara’s warmth around me anymore. I try to reach out with my hand, try to call her name, but I’m so tired and it hurts too much and I just don't want to endure it anymore. I slip back down into the muffled dark.

 

* * *

 

 

“… the timely return of Supergirl, things could have been a lot worse.”

There’s a sharp, quiet intake of breath. “Ouch, Danvers. No wonder.”

I know that voice. I _adore_ that voice. I’m suddenly struggling against the fog to open my eyes.

There’s a hand on mine, another running over my hair. “No more grenades for you.” Her voice is clearer now, as is the sound of a beeping heart monitor, the drone of the TV in the background, the softness of the bed I’m lying in. My whole body aches, but I’ll take it over the white-hot fire I had been feeling.

I drag my eyes open and smile blearily up at her. “In your dreams,” I mutter.

Maggie grins softly. “Hey, sleepyhead,” she murmurs. She leans down and presses a kiss against my cheek. “Heard you tried to pull a Supergirl out a window.”

I squint at her. “I did a what?”

Maggie huffs out a quiet chuckle. “I guess it makes sense if you don’t really remember. You took a pretty good knock to the head.”

But I’m stuck on the one word. I move to sit up, to look around the DEO med room that is painfully devoid of my sister except for on the TV screen in the corner. But Maggie presses down on my shoulders, keeping me in place. “I don’t think you should be-“

“Where’s my sister?” I demand breathlessly. “Maggie, where’s Kara?” _Is she okay? Is she hurt? Did she leave again?_ My heart clenches with agony just at the thought.

“She just went to get food, Alex,” Maggie says, voice gentle. “She’s fine, I promise. She’ll be back soon.”

I lean back against the pillows, staring at Maggie. “She said she’d come back?”

Maggie squeezes my hand, looks at me earnestly. “She promised.”

I let myself sink deeper into the pillows, the tightness in my chest relaxing. “She better hurry up,” I mutter.

Maggie chuckles and plops down in a chair pulled up right next to the bed. “Give the girl a break, babe. She’s been in here non-stop for the past two days. I had to threaten her to get her to go.”

“Two days?” My voice is a little stronger with surprise. “It’s been… Wait, I’ve-I’m… Start at the beginning. What happened?”

Maggie sighs and leans her elbows on the bed. “What do you remember?”

I try to think back, but the memories are like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. Wispy and intangible. “Um… I think there was a bomb… Or something. Was there a bomb?”

Maggie nods. “Kara said Henshaw tossed a grenade at you.”

“Oh.” I think I remember the sound of it rolling over the floor. “Okay… What happened after that?”

“You want to see it? It got caught on camera.”

I tilt my head. “Camera? Who the hell had a camera at a warzone?”

Maggie shrugs with an annoyed huff. “Some news team slipped through in all the craziness. I thought your boss was going to toss them into space, he was so mad.”

I grin a little. “He didn’t even like James and Winn when he first met them so I’m surprised these guys are still alive. You said they got the whole thing on video, though?”

Maggie nods, though cautiously. “It’s not, um… It’s not good, Alex. I mean, it’s not pretty, what happened.” Her eyes are slightly pained, voice tight.

But now I’m curious. “Is that what’s on TV?” I ask, nodding towards where the screen is paused on an old close-up shot of my sister in her full Supergirl glory. The words “Supergirl Returns” run across the top of the screen in bold and my chest floods with warmth.

Maggie nods. “We tried to keep the shot out of the media but it got leaked before we could. It’s everywhere now.”

“I wanna see,” I say, sitting up a bit and wincing at the pull in my stomach and throb in my head. “I’m curious.”

Maggie just looks at me for a moment, like she’s gauging whether or not this is a good idea. She reaches for the remote on the bedside table and flicks the rewind button. The screen fuzzes for a second, and Maggie hits play when a shot of Lord Tech dominates the screen.

“I about threw up when I saw it the first time,” she mumbles, and her hand tightens around mine.

My brow furrows in confusion and I squeeze her hand back. On the screen, the camera shakes and there’s a slightly terrified voice giving a blow by blow recap of what’s going on. Soldiers rushing into Lord Tech, gunshots ringing out, the massive window being blown out. The camera trembles when beams of blue shoot out in deadly bursts.

“Henshaw’s,” I mutter. Kara doesn’t use hers so erratically.

The guy holding the camera is going on about how loud it is, how many weapons are spurting rounds in quick bursts, and wondering what the hell is so important that they sent the freaking Army to Lord Tech to shoot the place up. Ever so slowly, the camera creeps closer and closer to the building until it suddenly whips upwards.

A beam of Heat Vision just disappears from a few stories up, and I suddenly remember Kara shoving me out of the way of it. And a moment later, there’s a shriek, an almighty boom, and all the windows are blown out in a shower of sparkling glass. My heart jumps in my throat as the camera follows a streak of blue and red blasted out the window, falling toward the ground below. _Kara_.

She has her arms wrapped protectively around something, and my heart jumps again when I realize it’s me, limp and falling with her. And right before we hit the ground, Kara twists sharply in midair, still clutching me to her chest, and lands between me and the pavement.

The camera holds on both of us, the camera guy swearing, as Kara curls in on herself in obvious pain for a moment. Then she’s dragging herself up on her hands and knees, crawling over to me frantically to where the impact had flung me out of her arms and a few feet away. Over the camera man’s continued swearing, I can hear her voice as she shakes me, calling my name in panic.

“Turn it off,” I say quietly.

Maggie immediately switches the TV off and holds my hand in both her own. “Yeah… Not pretty.”

I heave a deep breath, trying to forget the image of my sister leaning over me, shaking me, crying with fear. I need to sort out what is most important. “But Kara’s okay?” I ask, looking over at Maggie.

She’s still staring at me with the remnants of terror in her brown eyes, but she nods. “She’s fine, Alex. Really. She flew you over here right after it happened. Got both of you all fixed up.”

“Did she lay in her sunbed?” I ask.

Maggie rolls her eyes. “We told her to, but she refused to leave you. Right now is actually the first time she’s left your side since it happened. Well, except when you were in surgery and J’onn had to hold her back from going in with you.”

My heart swells with warmth again. “Stubborn little alien,” I mumble. “Wait. Surgery?”

“Yeah, you were bleeding internally a bit. They fixed that, wrapped up your ribs, and you’ve been snoozing ever since.”

I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling, trying to process. Two days gone. Two days of not being aware of what was going on with my sister, Maggie, the mission-

I look back over at Maggie sharply. “Tell me Winn got that damn Registry at least.”

Maggie chuckles. “Relax, Danvers. He got it. He got the Registry and your team rescued a few dozen captured aliens. Lord’s lawyers had him out of a cell in about ten minutes so that’s a bust for now. And Henshaw’s still in the wind. So is Lillian and your dad. But the aliens were rescued, so there was some success at least.”

My dad. My chest twists painfully. “Do you think they know it was him who let Brian go?” I ask quietly.

Maggie shrugs. “I don’t know. Which might be a good thing. If they did anything to him, I think they’d make sure you knew, right? I mean, that’s how they work.”

I try to cling to that comfort, small as it is. Cadmus is fond of using fear as its most powerful tactic, and if they wanted to scare me into doing something stupid, all they would have to do is show me what they would do to my father if they knew he’d double crossed them. If we haven’t seen anything yet, maybe they don’t know it was him. Maybe he’s safe.

Maggie is watching me with those same eyes, full of relief but ringed in red. Exhausted. I squeeze her hand. “I scared you,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

She smiles softly at me and runs her thumb over my knuckles. “Part of the job, Danvers,” she says. “But, just so we’re clear, I’m coming with you next time.”

I grin at her. “Sounds good to me.”

“Should I come back?”

That warmth that’s been blooming in my heart explodes, and my eyes dart over to where Kara is leaning in the door with an uncertain expression in her eyes. She’s in old sweats and one of my ratty college hoodies, hair tied up and dark circles under her eyes. She staring at me like she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. “I mean, I-I can go and-“

“Come here,” I say, and my voice cracks with my tightening throat. I suddenly need to hug her so bad it hurts. I let go of Maggie’s hand and reach out to Kara. “Get over here now.”

Kara’s lips twitch up, eyes glistening, and she all but falls into me when she reaches the bedside. Her face presses into my shoulder and, even though it hurts, I wrap both arms around her, nestling into the crook of her neck. I feel rather than see Maggie get up and move quietly toward the door. Over Kara’s shoulder, she locks eyes with me and I mouth a silent “thank you.” She gives me a nod, and she’s out the door.

“Are you okay?” I whisper in Kara’s ear.

She nods against my shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” I ask. I loosen my arms, lean back enough to look at her. “Maggie said you haven’t laid in your sunbed and-“

“Alex, I’m okay, really,” Kara says. “I just got a little sun just now and I feel fine. Besides-“ she sinks down into the chair Maggie just vacated, scoots it closer to the bed- “You’re the one who got the snot kicked out of you by a cyborg, then tossed out a window.”

“You took the brunt of that grenade, Kara,” I say. “And the brunt of that fall.”

“You remember it?”

I shake my head. “Maggie showed me the video.”

“Ah. Yeah.” She shifts around uncomfortably and won’t look me in the eye. “It’s pretty, um… It’s pretty dramatic, huh?”

My eyes narrow. “What’s wrong?”

“Who says anything’s wrong?”

I reach out and poke her. “Crinkle.”

A tiny smile twists on her lips and the tension building in my chest loosens a little. “Of course,” she mutters, almost to herself. Her eyes are trained on the sheets where her fingers are playing absentmindedly on a loose string. “It’s always the crinkle.”

I give her a moment, but she doesn’t speak again. “Kara?” I prompt, nudging her hand with my own. “What’s up?”

Her eyes flit up to mine and away. “It’s just been a long couple days, that’s all.” Her voice is impossibly small. I reach out and take her hand and my heart clenches when she doesn’t squeeze back right away. She looks up at me with shining blue eyes. “I just wish I could have gotten there sooner.”

“Yeah, about that,” I say, feeling a twinge of annoyance. “I told you to stay in Metropolis. I told Clark to keep you there, and you came anyway.”

She shrugs and looks away. “I couldn’t let you go try to take down Cadmus and Max Lord by yourself,” she says quietly.

I huff out a sigh. “And I appreciate that, Kara, but you could have been hurt or-or captured or-“

“And you could have been _dead_ ,” Kara snaps. She looks up at me with watery eyes, but they blaze with an anger I’ve only seen a handful of times. “You would have _died_ , Alex. So I don’t feel bad for not listening to you.”

Her bottom lip trembles ever so slightly and she looks away, running her hand across her eyes impatiently. My heart cracks. “Sorry,” I murmur. “I didn’t- That’s not…” I reach out and run my hand over her arm. She doesn’t look at me, but she breathes out a shuddering, calming breath. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

At first, she doesn’t say anything. She reaches over and reclaims my hand with a gentle grip, though her fingers quiver the slightest bit. “It was scary, that’s all,” she murmurs. My heart aches at the miserable expression on her face and she bites her lip in an attempt to hide the tremble in it.

She’s thinking too much, thinking of what could have been. I shake her hand with mine to regain her attention. “Hey,” I say, and she looks over at me slowly. I do my best to give her a teasing grin. “You get potstickers?”

For a moment, Kara just stares at me with a dumbfounded look on her face. I would have laughed if that ache wasn’t lancing through my chest. I just need her to be distracted. I need her to stop thinking. I need to make that look in her eyes go away.

Ever so slowly, a grin lights her face and she seems to accept this olive branch. “Yeah,” she says. “I did, actually.” She leans back in her chair, keeping ahold of my hand. “I’d offer you some, but Hamilton has you on a strict liquids-only diet.” She shrugs with a sassy smile. “Sorry.”

I grin back. “No you’re not.”

She chuckles. “Nope. More for me.”

I laugh quietly, feeling a twinge in my ribs, but I don’t care. Kara’s here, she’s talking and smiling, catching me up on all that I’d missed the last two days. I pretend to be annoyed when she tells me sheepishly that she’d texted my mom to tell her what was going on, but I really don’t care. She’s _home_ , and I know we still have a conversation to have that could rip my heart to pieces all over again, but for now, I hold my sister’s hand and listen to her voice and breathe easy.


	9. Chapter 9

J’onn gives us ten minutes. Ten minutes of listening to Kara’s voice and feeling my heart knit back together before he’s marching in with expectant, slightly angry eyes.

Kara’s hand clenches around mine and she begins to rise from her chair. “You know what? I’m just gonna-“ she waves a hand at the door. “I need to- you know, um…” She gives my hand one last squeeze while I shoot her a glare. She grins back. “You got this?”

I blow out a noisy breath and nod. “Don’t go far, though,” I say. And it terrifies me much more than it should when she walks out the door, pausing just long enough to shoot me a subtle smile of encouragement.

I meet J’onn’s eyes with my own, my heart sinking at the telling off I’m surely going to get. “Sir, I know-“

“Are you alright?” he asks.

I pause for a split second, surprised. “Oh. Uh, yeah. Yeah, I feel fine.” In truth, I’m sore and I’m tired and I kinda want to sleep, but I’m definitely not telling him that.

J’onn nods, pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed, eyes flitting around the room and never lingering on me. “The mission was a success for the most part. Were you told?”

I nod and instantly regret it. It throbs and by sheer force of will I don’t wince. “Kara and Maggie explained.”

J’onn just nods again, eyes darting from me to the machines around me, to the window. Hands behind his back. The picture of professional concern. The twitching of his hands, the nervous bounce, and the tautness of his shoulders gives him away.

“J’onn,” I say quietly, and his eyes come back to mine. “I had to get that Registry. I had to protect Kara.”

His shoulders slump slightly and he lets out a quiet breath. “I know,” he says. Gone is the curt, cold voice of the Director. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to suspend you for disobeying my orders. _Again_.”

I can’t help grinning a bit at the slight teasing tone in his voice. “I guess that’s… Fair.”

J’onn glances around the machines thoughtfully. “Hamilton says that you are unfit for the field for the next few weeks. I think riding a desk is suspension enough for you, yes?”

I smile for real now. I hate the desk, but I know I would go absolutely stir crazy being away from work completely for any length of time. I’ll take what I can get. “Thanks, J’onn.”

“But Alex,” he says, and his voice is laced with concern. Fatherly and slightly desperate. “Next time I tell you not to go, _listen to me_. If not for your sake then for Kara’s.”

My chest twinges and I look away from him so he won’t see. “If I didn’t go we wouldn’t have the Registry. She wouldn’t be safe. And-“

“Alex she would rather be hunted to the ends of the universe than lose you and you know it,” J’onn says.

My heart twists so painfully I can’t help but wince. And I know it doesn’t escape his notice.

“Has she said… whether or not she’s…?”

Another stab in the chest. Another wince. I shake my head, trying to ignore the way my eyes are starting to burn. “She hasn’t said and I don’t want to bring it up.” _If she leaves again…_ I can’t even think it. It hurts too much.

J’onn breathes out a long breath. “Well… Just let her know she’s wanted here. That’s the best you can do.”

I keep my eyes trained on the bedspread and nod, pushing against the tears with everything I have. “I will.” I just hope she listens to me. I _need_ her to listen to me.

J’onn gives me an encouraging smile. “She loves you, Alex. She’ll come around.”

I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to think about my little sister flying off without me and not coming back. But I try to smile back, though it doesn’t feel convincing even to me.

After a moment of watching me struggle against the ache in my heart, J’onn’s smile turns playful. “And you should definitely call your mom. She’s been blowing up my phone for hours and I’m tired of it. Give her some peace of mind, would you?”

I groan and my head falls back onto the pillows. “Why did Kara have to text her?”

“Because she’s your mom and she would want to know what’s going on. Call her.”

I groan again, though a part of me is so glad for the distraction. However unpleasant it’s sure to be. “Fine. Hand me my phone.”

J’onn scoops it up from the table and hands it to me, pausing to lay a gentle hand on my shoulder. He gives me a squeeze. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he says so earnestly my eyes sting again.

I force a grin up at him. “Glad enough to not suspend me?”

He scoffs and turns toward the door. “Don’t push your luck, Danvers. We still haven’t discussed your girl being here twenty four seven since you were brought in. This is meant to be a covert organization.” He shoots me a pointed look as he sweeps out the door.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I call after him. I listen to his footsteps retreat down the hall, trying to steel myself for this phone call. I’ve talked to my mom since Kara left, but the conversations always had just the slight layer of ice coating them. And now that she knows Kara’s home and I’m in a hospital bed… This is not going to be pleasant.

I heave a breath and hit the speed dial, wishing Kara was back so she could be a buffer.

She answers on the second ring. “Alex? Sweetie?”

Her voice is warm and soothing and I feel warmer just hearing it. “Hi, Mom,” I say.

“Hi, honey. How are you feeling? Do I need to catch a flight over there? Are you-“

I roll my eyes even though I can’t help grinning. “No, Mom, I’m fine. Really. Just a little sore, I promise.”

“Alex, I saw the footage. You’ve got to be a little bit more than just ‘sore.’”

Crap. I was hoping she hadn’t seen it. “Nope. Kara was a good cushion.”

Mom doesn’t laugh and her voice holds no smile in it like I’d hoped for. “You both… What am I going to do with you? Kara runs off to her cousin without telling anyone, you go rounds with a cyborg-“

“She told you where she was?” I interrupt. That saves me half a conversation. “Did you talk to her about it?”

Mom breathes deep on the other end. “She didn’t want to say too much when I asked. I’m just glad she went there, if she had to go.” Her voice hitches and my heart clenches at the tiny sniffle that follows. “She’s still there, right?”

“Yeah, she’s here,” I say, glancing at the door like Kara might walk through it at any second. “Well, she’s out of the room right now, but she’s still… here.” Mom is silent on the other end for a moment, and I can hear what she’s desperate to ask. Desperate to know. I steel myself. “I don’t know if she’s staying. She hasn’t said.” God, it hurts to say. So much that I put a hand to my chest as if that will soothe the ache.

“You’ll tell her-“

“Yeah, Mom. I will,” I promise. I heave a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“I know, sweetie,” Mom says, and a little bit of the suffocating pressure lifts. “I know you didn’t. I shouldn’t have put that on your shoulders, either. I’m sorry.”

A little more pressure melts away. But it still doesn’t change the fact that my words drove my little sister literally across the country. But for now, it’ll have to be enough.

I’m about to formulate a response when Kara’s head pokes in the door, eyes flitting from the phone in my hand to my eyes. She mouths a silent “Eliza?”

I nod at her. “Mom, I gotta go now,” I say into the phone. Kara shakes her head at me and makes to back out of the room, gesturing for me to keep talking to my mom. But I hold out my hand to her, a little desperately, saying “I’ll call you when they let me out of here, okay?”

“Okay, hon. You take care of yourself, I love you, and… Tell Kara I love her, okay?”

“I will,” I say as Kara uncertainly slips into the room, approaching the bedside chair almost apprehensively. “Love you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Kara grumbles as I hang up the phone and toss it clumsily onto the bedside table. “You should talk to your mom.” She plops onto the chair and peeks inside the takeout bag in her lap. Judging by the smell, it’s what’s left of her potstickers.

“I did,” I say, shooting her a grin even as my heart thumps painfully at the uncertainty in her voice. “She says she loves you, by the way.”

Kara’s face crumples for a split second, then she schools it into a mask of false cheerfulness. My heart splits in two. “That’s, uh- well, I-um… Love her too,” Kara stutters. Her eyes won’t meet mine and her hands fidget with the bag.

My throat tightens with gnawing panic, painful and loud. I open my mouth, wanting so much to get this conversation over with, but at the same time dreading it with every fiber of my being. The words get stuck and I feel like a fish out of water.

Before I can speak past the growing lump of panic, Kara digs loudly into her bag. “You know,” she says as she pulls a half-full carton of potstickers out of the bag. She shoots me a quick smile. “I noticed something while I was stealing your sweatshirt. Your closet is in some desperate need of an upgrade. Like, half of what you own is black or fifty shades of grey.” She stuffs a dumpling in her mouth and smirks lopsidedly at me.

The warmth only she can bring spreads through me, pushing back against some of the icy dread pooling in my heart. A snort bursts out of me. “It’s easier to match. And in case you haven’t noticed-“ I gesture to the DEO outside the door. “We _all_ wear black. _All_ the time.”

Kara stuffs another potsticker in her mouth. “Boring,” she mumbles as she chews.

I chuckle. “Well, not all of us can pull off red, blue, and gold all in one outfit.”

Kara grins and I feel even warmer. _What’s one more day_ , a tiny part of me whispers. _One more day with her here. That’s all. You can talk for real tomorrow._ And if she decides to go back to Metropolis… At least I can have these moments. And I’ll cling to them with everything I’ve got right now.

So I lean back in the pillows and my mouth waters as Kara finishes her potstickers, rambles about my poor choice in attire until Hamilton comes in to examine me. She notices me wince when she massages lightly at my ribs and doesn’t believe me when I say it doesn’t hurt too bad.

“I know you’re lying, Danvers,” she chastises and Kara holds my hand gently. “So regardless, I’m adjusting your pain meds.”

“I don’t want to-“ I start to protest.

“You’re going to be groggy,” Hamilton says as she adjusts the drip on my IV. “So you might as well try to go back to sleep. It’s good for you.”

My heart clenches and my grip on Kara’s hand tightens. She feels it, give me a quizzical look as Hamilton gives me a firm “Do us all a favor and sleep, Danvers” and leaves the room. She’s not even out the door before I can feel my eyelids drooping.

“Does it hurt?” Kara asks anxiously. Her thumb rubs over my knuckles. “I can call her back and-“

“You’re staying, right?” My voice comes out slurred and barely more than a murmur. “You’re… Be here when I wake up?”

Kara just looks at me for a moment, blue eyes shiny, and doesn’t say anything. Everything is starting to go dark, sounds getting fuzzy, and I cling to her dimming form. I need to hear her say it. I need to know, need it like I need air in my lungs.

I feel her press a kiss against my forehead just as my eyes close completely, try as I might to keep them open.

“I’ll be here when you wake up. Promise.”


	10. Chapter 10

I’m seriously thinking Hamilton messed up the dosage for my pain medication when I wake up and it’s dark out. The DEO is quiet, the kind of quiet that comes with the graveyard shift, when everything seems slow and somewhat dreamlike. Lights seem dimmer, sounds more muffled, voices pitched lower. A glance at the clock on the wall confirms it’s way too early.

I move to roll just a little to alleviate some of the pressure on my left hip. As I move, biting my lip to keep from whimpering at the ache in my ribs, the empty chair next to my bed comes into view. For a split second my heart thumps in panic until my eyes move to the window, where Kara sits curled on another chair. She’s staring outside with distant eyes.

I watch her for a moment, the way the moonlight catches in her blonde hair, turning it silvery white. Her eyes take on a shade of such light blue they almost look electric. And she’s tucking her lip in, biting it.

“Are you okay?” I whisper. I had assumed that she knew I was awake, she could hear the change in my heartrate and breathing. But she startles in surprise at the sound of my voice and a pit of worry grows in my stomach. What thoughts are going through her head that consume her so much?

“You should be sleeping,” Kara whispers back. I don’t miss the fact that she won’t look directly at me.  She shifts in her seat, subtly turning so her face is away from me.

I sit up a bit against the mountain of pillows. “So should you,” I say. “I think I’ve slept enough, anyway.”

“Sleep more.” Her eyes are trained outside, but she swipes a finger under them.

My heart cracks. “You’re crying.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Kara.”

She stops fidgeting, breathes a quiet breath. But she doesn’t say anything.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. I move to sit up a little more and a hiss escapes despite my efforts to bite it back.

Kara is immediately up and out of her chair, over to the side of the bed. “Alex, you need to take it easy,” she says. She pushes a gentle hand against my shoulder, but I don’t lay completely back down.

“What’s wrong?” I ask again.

“Nothing.” Her voice is hard and cold, but her lip quivers just the slightest bit. “Now go back to sleep.”

She moves to retreat back to the chair by the window, but I snatch her hand before she can make the first step. “Talk to me,” I say. “What’s going on with you?”

Kara just stands there for a moment, staring at our joined hands like she’s not comprehending what she’s seeing. Slowly, uncertainly, she sinks into the chair by the bed. But she just trains her eyes on the bedspread and doesn’t say anything.

The growing pit of worry in my stomach flips. “Kara?” I give her hand a gentle squeeze.

She shakes her head. “Just thinking about… stuff.”

My stomach twists and writhes so violently it almost feels like nausea. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to have this conversation yet. I want to go back to this afternoon. I want to go back to listening to her talk and giggle and the feeling of holding her hand and having her near. I want to go back to our childhood, when I had her and she had me and that was the only thing that really mattered to us in the end.

“What kind of stuff?” I force out. But of course I already know. My throat is closing up with dread.

Kara glances up at me and away, down to where, underneath the blankets, my ribs and stomach are wrapped up tight. “Do you know how your ribs got broken?” she asks suddenly. “And why you were bleeding internally?”

 _What? Where is she going with this?_ “Yeah,” I say, and it sounds like a question. “I kinda got thrown through a wall by a cyborg and-“

“It wasn’t because of Henshaw,” Kara interrupts. She stares down at the bedspread, eyes beginning to shine, jaw clenching. “You were bruised, but nothing was broken yet.”

“What are you- I don’t-“

“It was from me hitting you so hard,” she blurts. “When I tackled you, before… I-I heard the crack and… I was…” She looks up at me, tears dangling from her eyelashes. “You’re only here because-“

“No,” I snap. “Don’t do that. This isn’t your fault.”

“But it was,” she says miserably. “If I hadn’t-“

“I would have died,” I say over her. “You said so yourself earlier today. If you hadn’t been there I would have died. And who knows how many others. None of this is your fault, Kara.”

She shakes her head stubbornly. “I could have… I almost…” Her eyes come up to meet mine, miserable and heartbroken. “I don’t want to cause any more damage, Alex. I-I can’t.”

It takes me one horrible split second to grasp what she’s saying, to realize that her hand is sliding away from mine. My heart shatters and my throat closes so tight I can’t breathe.

“Kara, no,” I rasp in a voice that sounds like I’m being choked. I reach out and snatch her hand back before she can move any farther. “Don’t. Don’t do this again.”

She doesn’t pull away, but she won’t look at me either. Her shoulders are taut like a coiled spring, ready to run, eyes dripping with tears. “I don’t want to hurt your family,” she whispers.

“My family _is_ your family,” I insist desperately, clinging to her hand with everything I have. “It’s _our_ family, Kara. And we need you-“

“But think about what your life could have been,” Kara says, voice trembling. “You would have been the best doctor. Cured cancer or something. You would have been so _great_ at it. And Jeremiah… You’d have your dad and…”

She tugs against my hold on her hand and I hang on to her. “We never would have been whole without you,” I say.

Kara shakes her head with a tortured smile. “You would’ve been fine. And you’ll be fine now.”

“No, I won’t!” I exclaim. Kara moves to pull away with a shake of her head and I crush her hand. Tears burn in my eyes, blurring my vision of her crumbling face. “Please, Kara, don’t do this to me again. Please. I can’t do this without you anymore.” The thought alone sends pangs shooting through my chest and the tears drip over my cheeks. _I can’t, I can’t, I can’t._

“Yes you can,” she murmurs gently. “You’ll be fine. More than fine. And when you get Jeremiah back-“

“I don’t want him back without you,” I say, and she glances up at me sharply with disbelief written all over her face. “I _don’t_. We’d still be a family member short.”

“But you said if I-“

“What I said to you wasn’t true,” I interrupt. “And I’m so so sorry.”

In the midst of the swirling agony and fear crashing through me in waves, there’s a pressure in my heart that releases. I finally get to say all the things I‘d wanted to over the past month. She finally gets to hear what she deserves to hear.

The _truth_.

“You have _always_ been a part of my family, no matter what.” I run my thumb over her knuckles. “And you have never ever damaged us, okay? Not now, not when you came to us, not when Dad joined the DEO, never. You made us _whole,_ Kara.”

She stares at me for a heart-wrenching moment, desperation leaping out of her eyes, then looks back out the window with a shuddering breath. And she reminds me so much of the little girl who showed up at my house all those years ago. Tears streaming down her face, shoulders slumped against the weight of two worlds. Lonely, scared, desperate for love.

“Look at me,” I say. And when she doesn’t right away, I give her hand a gentle shake. “Kara, look at me.”

Her shining blue eyes finally come up to meet mine and my chest splits at the soul-deep sadness in them. I squeeze her hand, struggling to breathe past my own aching heart. “Please come home,” I murmur quietly. It’s all I can manage. “I need my little sister back. _Please_.”

I know I have no business asking this of her. I know I broke her heart, I know I hurt her too deep and she would be fully within her rights to walk out that door and never come back. And that knowledge cuts so sharply, makes me want to scream with it. I need her home, I truly don’t think I can take any more of life without her. I really don’t know what I’ll do, how I’ll survive, if she walks away now.

“Do you really mean that?” Her voice is so quiet I barely hear her. “You really… Do you mean it?”

I nod earnestly. “Every word. I promise.” _Please, Kara. Please don’t go._

After a moment of holding my gaze, she gasps out quiet sob and her fingers finally clench gently around mine. “I don’t think I can do it anymore, either,” she sniffles. At the questioning tilt of my head, she gives a tiny, hopeless shrug. “Miss you too much.”

The vice grip on my heart loosens just enough for me to breathe normally. I hold her gaze for a moment, letting that little seed of hope plant itself in my heart, battle the pit of despair. And I shift over on the bed, wincing just a little.

“Alex, stop, you’re gonna hurt yoursel-“

“Come up here,” I whisper, patting the empty space next to me.

Kara seems to deliberate, and for a split second my heart plummets so quickly I nearly double over with the pain of it. But then she huffs out a sigh and climbs onto the bed, nestling next to me when I curl my arm around her shoulders. I run my hand over her hair and she breathes out a shaky breath against the side of my neck.

“I’m so so sorry,” I whisper.

Kara sniffles and tucks her face against my shoulder. “Me too,” she breathes. She carefully wraps both arms around my waist, holding me in a gentle hug. I rub my hand over her shoulders, trying to soothe her trembling.

For a long, long while, I just hold her and rub her shoulders until she slowly stops shaking. Her face stays tucked against me and I run my hand through her hair, let my cheek rest against her head and close my eyes. I think she might be asleep, and even though we’re scrunched onto the little hospital bed, I won’t wake her to kick her off. There’s no way.

“Alex?” Her voice, though it’s quiet, makes me jump.

“Yeah?” I say, rubbing her back.

Her voice is sheepish and almost apologetic. “I, um… I kinda don’t have an apartment anymore.”

My heart floods with warmth and an almost-silent chuckle escapes me. “Well, I happen to have an extra bedroom in mine.”

“I don’t want to-“

“Kara, it’s your home too,” I say, giving her a squeeze. “Always has been. You can stay with me until you get another place. Or forever, either one works.”

She shakes with a giggle. “Make sure you and Maggie keep it PG, then.”

I grin and can’t help giving her another squeeze. “No promises.”

Kara groans dramatically and pushes her face more firmly against me. “Gross.” But there is a smile in her voice and more warmth inflates my heart. Both my girls under the same roof, what more could I ask for?

I press my face against her hair and close my eyes against the sudden burning in them. But for once, I don’t feel like my chest is being split open. I don’t feel like I can’t breathe past the weight of missing my sister. I’m breathing easier now than I have in weeks, and my heart is finally whole and full.

“I love you, Kara,” I whisper against her hair. _More than you will ever know._

Kara’s grip on me tightens the slightest bit, and she breathes out a long sigh against me. “I love you, too,” she whispers back.

 

* * *

 

 Hamilton lets me go home the next night, only after I swear I will remain in bed for at least a couple more days. Kara and Maggie tell me on the way home that there is a bet going on how long it would take me to weasel my way back into the DEO. But they won’t tell me what their bets were.

Maggie and Kara set up the spare bedroom for Kara while I lay like a lump on the couch, feeling useless. But as I watch them talk and laugh together, flit around my apartment for blankets and pillows and Kara raiding my fridge for food, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. That warmth in my chest is nearly overwhelming now and I don’t ever want it to end.

That night, though, is the first night that I don’t feel completely comforted by Maggie’s presence in bed next to me. I fidget and can’t get comfortable, and it’s not because my ribs ache or because my head hurts. I spend too much time staring at the dark ceiling, too many memories from the past few weeks swirling through my mind. That unknown number on the screen, Kara’s message, the haze of fear and missing her that cloaked my heart, they all swim in my mind’s eye. And I know she’s just in the next room and I’m being slightly pathetic, but she’s too far away.

With a quiet huff of defeat, I heave myself out of bed, wincing, and limp my way through the living room. I crack the door to Kara’s room, suddenly feeling young and vulnerable again.

The room is dark and quiet, save for Kara’s even breathing. Just seeing her curled up there, her hair spilling out across the pillow and the blankets rumpled around her, eases the tension in my heart. Feeling like a little girl again, I crawl onto the bed, carefully pulling the blankets around me, trying not to wake her.

But like me, she is a light sleeper. Her breath hitches and she shifts, some half-asleep mumble of “you okay?” whispering from her lips.

I brush the back of my hand against her cheek. “Yeah,” I whisper. “Go back to sleep.”

Kara sighs sleepily and, eyes still closed, rolls over and tucks herself against me. Her face nestles under my chin and she breathes out another sigh.

I kiss her forehead and close my eyes, vaguely thinking that this is what being whole feels like. This is what home feels like.

 


End file.
